May 9, 2006The Personalization of Political Issues
Meryl,
I am one of your avid followers ever since I had the opportunity of meeting you at a IAPES conference a couple of years ago.
I need to be able to help a colleague as well as myself .
With all the mass rallies this past week to support the illegal immigrants emotions are running high but…She and I. both need some help as to what to say to complete strangers who attack us verbally because they see her as an illegal immigrant from Mexico and me for being an immigrant from the UK. They are spiteful in their words and hurtful; they have pushed in front of us in queues and told us to go back to the hovels we came from. I am white and quite British, an immigrant from the UK. My colleague and friend may have a darker complexion and an appearance of looking Hispanic but she was born here and does not even speak or read Spanish. She was really distressed by the altercation and allowed the words and actions to put her in fear and reduced her to tears.
How can we speak strong in such a tenuous situation?
Meryl Responds,
Your experience makes me sad. The fact that you are, in fact, here legally (or so I gather) emphasizes how wrong these people were, but even if you were here illegally, I would still condemn rudeness and make the same suggestion.
Since these are strangers it might matter more what you say to yourself than to them. When I am faced with such noxious Izzies, I remind myself,
- Their words or behavior reflect on them rather than me.
If you want to say something to make them think a bit, I suggest,
- Your anger toward me is misplaced.
or,
- Your behavior is rude and inappropriate. I deserve respect just as you do.
It saddens me that politics have become so divisive that people personalize events into daily interaction. I wish you the best and I hope this helps. Let’s see what ideas the readers add.
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This is in regard to the “Tenuous Situation” article. I do believe that we as Americans have forgotten that our anchestors came from some place else. Yes, even the American Indians crossed the Barren Straights from Asia at some point in time. Part of our heritage is that we moved here from some place else for a better life, for freedom of expression, to worship in the manner that we choose. Irish, Italian, German, Scots, and the Chinese have all been at the bottom of soceity, and society has relied upon them to build itself. Not all of our anchestors arrived here legally. Right now, it seems that it is the sheer number of illegal immigrants that is causing the biggest problem.
When someone says that you should go back back from where you came -
1- Ask them where their grandparents or great-grandparents came from. You might find an interestesting story.
2 - Remember a cartoon - A Congressman is pointing a finger at a new immigrant, telling them that they need to go back to their old country. An American Indian is standing behind him saying “I’ll help you pack.”
Whatever the rules, we need to apply them fairly to ALL immigrants. We’re all in the same boat and rocking it wont help.
Comment by Donna Wedemeyer — May 15, 2006 @ 6:12 pm
Having worked as a grief facilatator. I found out it is important to use the persons name if it is known that died. My sympathy is extended to you in the death of your son Paul acknowledge the person has a name and place in life such as son and a name using the persons name and place gives significants to the one that has died . Do not be afraid to use the word died or death that is what happened. Giving significants to the person is very important so many times people are afraid to use the name. Don’t be use it if you know it or try to find out if you do not.It adds warmth and sincerity
to your words.
Comment by Frances King — July 16, 2006 @ 4:56 pm