How about Match-and-Lead and build rapport by saying “Why thank you, I eat well and exercise regularly. More imporantly, I do this and that at my work. In the past N years, I led X projects and served clients like you extremely well.” throw in some funny, vivid, incredulous success or close-call stories to entertain and distract. Re-focus and not to repress the offenders.

A hand in the face and a direct hard block is jarring and really uncalled for in my opinion. Margaret Thatcher said that being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to say you are then you are not.

Have fun. Flow like the water and flutter like the butterfly!

As for the “attractive” comments. I noticed that the comments were all regarding personal information: crosswords, golf, etc., and not business-related topics. It sounded like general flattery to me. If I felt uncomfortable with his tone, his words, or a general vibe, I would assert myself and shift the conversation back to work-related topics.

I have been in meetings before where my Vice President interrupted a co-worker who was making a presentation to comment on my eyes or my hairstyle. I was mortified - everyone was staring at me! Then I realized he wasn’t taking anything away from me. I was the same person as I was before the meeting. I took control and said, “Thank you, Ron. Sean, what were you saying about the status of….” When it happened a second time a few weeks later in front of a client while I was speaking, I paused, looked him in the eye, held my silence for a long moment - long enough to get his attention, and said, “We can discuss that later, off-line. Now, as I was saying, I think we should consider …..”

It was clear to everyone that I recognized his inappropriate comment and behavior. It was clear to everyone that I didn’t wilt or overreact, and that I would discuss it with him later, in private.

My VP’s comments were demeaning and objectifying, but I didn’t feel demeaned. I felt empowered because I knew I handled the incident and that I could handle the private discussion with him. When I went into his office after the meeting, I told him I thought his off-subject comments were inappropriate. I said I didn’t feel it was sexual harassment; I just thought he was speaking without thinking, and for a person in his position with the company, he couldn’t afford to do that. He apologized, and thanked me. Six months later I was promoted to Operations Manager and transfered to another state to open a new office.

As Ms. McDonough said, once you respect yourself, you will find your voice and you will speak strong!

By the way, a good swallow to clear your throat and a nice deep breath before you speak helps tremendously, too!

I don’t understand how a Vice President would even consider walking into a client dinner without taking the lead and introducing herself. Granted, I don’t know all the details (and the inevitable “pecking order” these dinners sometimes call for), but it still baffles me as to why she (A) never took her own initiative and introduced herself to these other men, and (B) how on earth she could sit there and let this man speak to her this way.

Now, to my second point (on how she could let the man speak to her that way), I agree that’s a tough one — I, myself, may not have handled it any differently. But I guess I would expect that a woman who has risen to such a formidable position as Vice President would allow this conversation to continue. The client’s business was important… but at what cost?

And, as Meryl pointed out, shame on your colleague! Inviting you to dinner and not properly introducing you to your clients is, in my opinion, unacceptable.

While I am certainly not qualified to give you advice, I will offer this: No matter what your title (Executive, Vice President, Specialist, etc.), you deserve respect. Period. As I see it, you were disrespected on too many levels that night (your clients, the man speaking inappropriately, and your colleague). But remember, respect starts from within. Once you respect yourself – and demand that you are treated respectfully – you will find your voice and you will speak strong.