Comments on: Barred From the Board http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/06/26/barred-from-the-board/ By Meryl Runion and SpeakStrong, Inc. Mon, 01 Dec 2008 21:47:42 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: A PowerPhrase A Week » Blog Archive » No Longer Barred http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/06/26/barred-from-the-board/#comment-148 A PowerPhrase A Week » Blog Archive » No Longer Barred Wed, 12 Jul 2006 20:07:44 +0000 http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/06/26/barred-from-the-board/#comment-148 [...] I took on board what you said (http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/06/26/barred-from-the-board/#comments) and have since talked it through with my boss. She was surprised that I felt excluded and gave a commitment to keep me informed about issues discussed at the board that I need to know about. She explained that I can be abrupt in my manner and that the male board members felt that I sometimes challenged their authority inappropriately. They wanted the board to be a system for ratifying decisions, not having those decisions challenged. [...] [...] I took on board what you said (http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/06/26/barred-from-the-board/#comments) and have since talked it through with my boss. She was surprised that I felt excluded and gave a commitment to keep me informed about issues discussed at the board that I need to know about. She explained that I can be abrupt in my manner and that the male board members felt that I sometimes challenged their authority inappropriately. They wanted the board to be a system for ratifying decisions, not having those decisions challenged. [...]

]]> By: Liz http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/06/26/barred-from-the-board/#comment-146 Liz Fri, 07 Jul 2006 11:26:58 +0000 http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/06/26/barred-from-the-board/#comment-146 I took on board what you said and have since talked it through with my boss. She was surprised that I felt excluded and gave a commitment to keep me informed about issues discussed at the board that I need to know about. She explained that I can be abrupt in my manner and that the male board members felt that I sometimes challenged their authority inappropriately. They wanted the board to be a system for ratifying decisions, not having those decisions challenged. Another forum has since been set up that allows issues to be explored and that has power to make decisions based upon majority agreement, and the board has up to now complied with this. I am a full and active member of this group. This episode has made me look critically at how people perceive me and the way I approach issues that I have strong views about. I have since handled two very contentious issues in an objective manner and have used reflective techniques to demobnstrate I have heard and understood the other person's point of view. I have had very good outcomes from this approach and am working very hard on developing my communication skills in a way that enables me to be a more effective practitioner and perhaps a less critical person to be around! I took on board what you said and have since talked it through with my boss. She was surprised that I felt excluded and gave a commitment to keep me informed about issues discussed at the board that I need to know about. She explained that I can be abrupt in my manner and that the male board members felt that I sometimes challenged their authority inappropriately. They wanted the board to be a system for ratifying decisions, not having those decisions challenged.

Another forum has since been set up that allows issues to be explored and that has power to make decisions based upon majority agreement, and the board has up to now complied with this. I am a full and active member of this group.

This episode has made me look critically at how people perceive me and the way I approach issues that I have strong views about. I have since handled two very contentious issues in an objective manner and have used reflective techniques to demobnstrate I have heard and understood the other person’s point of view. I have had very good outcomes from this approach and am working very hard on developing my communication skills in a way that enables me to be a more effective practitioner and perhaps a less critical person to be around!

]]> By: Lael W http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/06/26/barred-from-the-board/#comment-139 Lael W Thu, 29 Jun 2006 14:38:44 +0000 http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/06/26/barred-from-the-board/#comment-139 Kudos to you Meryl, You exemplified your own advice here, of saying what you mean and not being mean when you say it. The first thing I though was the individual didn't express if it was an opinion or a fact as to why she wasn't invited any longer, and you stated that in a very effective but not negative way. Second, your advice covers a wide range of situations - too often we as individuals judge someone else's actions based on our own concerns and fears. We make accusations to others based on that, rather than getting the facts first. Your suggestion as to how to approach attempting to get correct information was ver good. Although it is possible that the individuals statement is correct, and she may not get a truthful answer if it is, she will have the personal power of knowing that the other parties were given a fair chance to respond to a non-confrontational request. We can all learn from this, as I know most people have been on both ends of this type of situation, at some time. Kudos to you Meryl,
You exemplified your own advice here, of saying what you mean and not being mean when you say it. The first thing I though was the individual didn’t express if it was an opinion or a fact as to why she wasn’t invited any longer, and you stated that in a very effective but not negative way.

Second, your advice covers a wide range of situations - too often we as individuals judge someone else’s actions based on our own concerns and fears. We make accusations to others based on that, rather than getting the facts first. Your suggestion as to how to approach attempting to get correct information was ver good. Although it is possible that the individuals statement is correct, and she may not get a truthful answer if it is, she will have the personal power of knowing that the other parties were given a fair chance to respond to a non-confrontational request. We can all learn from this, as I know most people have been on both ends of this type of situation, at some time.

]]>