June 26, 2006Confiding is Good for the Soul
A new study shows that 25% of the population has no one to confide in. I used to be in that group. I was reminded of that this week. While reading the book The Soul of Money, I was struck by the conversation the author and her husband had after losing much of their net worth in the stock market on Black Monday in October 1987. They moved beyond their fear, anger and other emotions in a matter of hours by confiding in each other. I found their experience to be a sharp contrast to what I went though because of that day. The first time I invested in the stock market was three days before Black Monday. The $10,000 mutual fund I bought was valued at $3000 only a few days after I invested. I was frightened, discouraged and felt shame about my actions. I shared my experience with no one.
There were over a million people who were impacted by the events of the stock market that day, but I experienced it as my own private shame. I could have worked through my emotional reaction much more quickly had I not felt the need to keep my loss so private.
Sex, religion and politics are considered the three taboo topics. But let’s not forget money. I don’t suggest being an open book with everyone on any of the touchy topics, but I do suggest finding a confidant or confidents when you need one.
I’ve been talking about money with a lot of people lately, and it sure feels healthy. In 1987 I felt like I had a deep dark secret. I don’t keep deep dark secrets anymore. I am grateful that I am no longer in the 25% group with no one to confide in. If you still are, I encourage you to reach out. Confiding the truth about what happens in your life is very healthy.
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Maybe having no one to confide in is the reason so many folks “blog.”
Comment by Rose — June 29, 2006 @ 9:54 am
Yes indeed! Under teh safetly of anonymity.
Comment by merylrunion — July 4, 2006 @ 3:47 pm