Comments on: That’s Just the Way I Am http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/06/26/thats-just-the-way-i-am/ By Meryl Runion and SpeakStrong, Inc. Mon, 01 Dec 2008 20:29:49 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Kathleen http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/06/26/thats-just-the-way-i-am/#comment-155 Kathleen Thu, 13 Jul 2006 12:31:49 +0000 http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/06/26/thats-just-the-way-i-am/#comment-155 Well, thanks to Cindy for the phrase "exaggerated frustration response." My boss manages to push ALL my buttons and I've been trying to understand the patterns that play out in both of us, for some time. I'd come to think of this response of hers as a cyclone arriving on the scene. But that image didn't serve well in explaining the behaviour, or help me think of ways to effect a change in the moment. Well, thanks to Cindy for the phrase “exaggerated frustration response.” My boss manages to push ALL my buttons and I’ve been trying to understand the patterns that play out in both of us, for some time. I’d come to think of this response of hers as a cyclone arriving on the scene. But that image didn’t serve well in explaining the behaviour, or help me think of ways to effect a change in the moment.

]]> By: Cindy Mueller http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/06/26/thats-just-the-way-i-am/#comment-143 Cindy Mueller Wed, 05 Jul 2006 20:54:25 +0000 http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/06/26/thats-just-the-way-i-am/#comment-143 My boss consistently uses this "excuse" for his behavior or language. He blames his hair-trigger temper on his childhood, his exaggerated frustration response to issues with his father, etc. In almost every other way, he is the perfect boss: intelligent, generous, humorous, honest. I love my job, but I just wasn't handling my reaction to his temper. A few weeks ago, I interrupted yet another tirade by saying that there comes a time when everyone must make a conscious decision to leave behind the baggage of their childhood, and move forward with their life. He was struck dumb. He came back to me a few days later and apologized. He said that he had never thought much about how his behavior affected other people. Everyone had been excusing him and his behavior for over 60 years. I used to cower in the face of his wrath. Now I see it for what it is--a childish temper tantrum. And I am no longer afraid. Meryl gave me the words to speak my thoughts. My fear and anger evaporated. I felt powerful. My boss consistently uses this “excuse” for his behavior or language. He blames his hair-trigger temper on his childhood, his exaggerated frustration response to issues with his father, etc. In almost every other way, he is the perfect boss: intelligent, generous, humorous, honest. I love my job, but I just wasn’t handling my reaction to his temper.

A few weeks ago, I interrupted yet another tirade by saying that there comes a time when everyone must make a conscious decision to leave behind the baggage of their childhood, and move forward with their life.

He was struck dumb. He came back to me a few days later and apologized. He said that he had never thought much about how his behavior affected other people. Everyone had been excusing him and his behavior for over 60 years. I used to cower in the face of his wrath. Now I see it for what it is–a childish temper tantrum. And I am no longer afraid.

Meryl gave me the words to speak my thoughts. My fear and anger evaporated. I felt powerful.

]]> By: Judy Phillips http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/06/26/thats-just-the-way-i-am/#comment-138 Judy Phillips Wed, 28 Jun 2006 20:36:04 +0000 http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/06/26/thats-just-the-way-i-am/#comment-138 Amen. Had a co-worker who responsed the same way to any and all attempts to help her raise the quality of her work and ultimately keep her job. Needless to say, we don't hear those comments anymore; another company does, now. Amen. Had a co-worker who responsed the same way to any and all attempts to help her raise the quality of her work and ultimately keep her job. Needless to say, we don’t hear those comments anymore; another company does, now.

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