July 12, 2006The Falsehoods You Allow
My friend “Frank” came through town last week. Frank has built and lost multi-million dollar businesses at least twice. The last time resulted in a year’s prison sentence for fraudulent business practices.
Frank worked very hard to make promises he could keep and keep the promises he made, but he had a rep that played fast and loose with the facts. Frank worked with him and was ready to terminate him, but decided to give him one last chance. In his one last chance Frank’s rep made false promised to a group that included FBI agents. As CEO of the organization, Frank was the one who was held responsible.
Frank knew he should have cut the rep loose as soon as he recognized the man was a compulsive liar. Frank rationalized that terminating the rep would require him to terminate the 50 employees that the business the rep brought in supported, and Frank owed it to them to give the rep one more chance. That one last chance cost everyone at Frank’s company their jobs.
Have you ever been used as an excuse for someone else doing what they wanted? Someone said they’d “let you go” instead of confessing that they were ready to end the conversation. Someone got dessert because ” you like dessert” when it’s really an excuse to eat dessert themselves. Someone didn’t give you an update because they knew “how busy you are,” when they really didn’t want to do the update. I believe Frank was concerned for the employees he would have to lay off, but I also believe Frank was concerned for his own bottom line. I suspect that because I have kidded myself in a similar way. In the end, it’s you who faces the results of the choices you make, even if you are telling yourself your motives are altruistic. In the end you are held accountable for the falsehoods you tell, and for the falsehoods you allow. Have a great week of not accepting lies and of Speaking Strong when something needs to be said.
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The Falsehoods you Allow article is VERY powerful and so universally done. Thank you for putting this into words.
Comment by Helene — July 12, 2006 @ 3:49 pm
Im glad this was written. I dont think many poeple understand how letting someone use you as an excuse can be so damaging not only to our careers, but also to our character ( long term)
We wind up taking a hit that was meant to be thrown at someone else.
Comment by konsuela — July 19, 2006 @ 7:33 pm
I was in a similar situation at work where I did not feel comfortable about how things were run. I am licensed, but my boss is not. It is my license on the line for the operation. I just quit, I should of quit 2 years ago! I tried the paths of the company to resolve the problem, but he knows which hand to butter and it’s a man’s world at this place. It felt great quitting and knowing I don’t have to take that type of crap! I agree with the damage it can do to our careers and characters!
Comment by Mary — July 23, 2006 @ 7:38 am