Comments on: Who Goes First? Courage in the Face of Complicity http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/08/02/who-goes-first-courage-in-the-face-of-complicity/ By Meryl Runion and SpeakStrong, Inc. Mon, 01 Dec 2008 19:45:40 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Brenda http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/08/02/who-goes-first-courage-in-the-face-of-complicity/#comment-234 Brenda Wed, 23 Aug 2006 19:54:33 +0000 http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/08/02/who-goes-first-courage-in-the-face-of-complicity/#comment-234 Sharon, Thank you so much for your comment! In fact, that's exactly what I've been doing, and it's such a great comfort and encouragement to hear how much it means to someone who has experienced an "adopted grandmas" love! I know how it feels on my end, I've been blessed with many adopted grandkids and have loved every minute of them! But your sharing gave me insight into what it feels like on the other end. THANK YOU !!! Sharon,
Thank you so much for your comment! In fact, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing, and it’s such a great comfort and encouragement to hear how much it means to someone who has experienced an “adopted grandmas” love! I know how it feels on my end, I’ve been blessed with many adopted grandkids and have loved every minute of them! But your sharing gave me insight into what it feels like on the other end.
THANK YOU !!!

]]> By: Sharon Campbell http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/08/02/who-goes-first-courage-in-the-face-of-complicity/#comment-227 Sharon Campbell Wed, 16 Aug 2006 19:39:17 +0000 http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/08/02/who-goes-first-courage-in-the-face-of-complicity/#comment-227 Brenda, you sound like a person with a lot of love to give. While you are waiting for validation that may never come, why don't you check into becoming involved in the lives of young people around you in your community. My own life was greatly enriched by my beloved "adopted grandmas" who shared their love and wisdom with me. There are many young families who are far from their own parents and grandparents who would love to have the gifts you have to give. Brenda, you sound like a person with a lot of love to give. While you are waiting for validation that may never come, why don’t you check into becoming involved in the lives of young people around you in your community. My own life was greatly enriched by my beloved “adopted grandmas” who shared their love and wisdom with me. There are many young families who are far from their own parents and grandparents who would love to have the gifts you have to give.

]]> By: Brenda http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/08/02/who-goes-first-courage-in-the-face-of-complicity/#comment-225 Brenda Mon, 14 Aug 2006 20:53:10 +0000 http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/08/02/who-goes-first-courage-in-the-face-of-complicity/#comment-225 Thank you. And thank you for your newsletter. I look forward each week to the new editions. Many times the messages have given me strength to continue standing. On several occasions I've shared your messages with our Culture Committee at work. We CAN make a difference. Thank you. And thank you for your newsletter. I look forward each week to the new editions. Many times the messages have given me strength to continue standing. On several occasions I’ve shared your messages with our Culture Committee at work. We CAN make a difference.

]]> By: merylrunion http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/08/02/who-goes-first-courage-in-the-face-of-complicity/#comment-223 merylrunion Fri, 11 Aug 2006 22:50:02 +0000 http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/08/02/who-goes-first-courage-in-the-face-of-complicity/#comment-223 Wow. My guess is that speaking up had to be one of the hardest things you ever did. And most courageous. Situations do evolve...while you are the scape goat at the moment, there is no way to know how things might change so that you just might get the credit you deserve. Or you might not. But it's clear that you know in your heart you did the truely loving thing. I applaud your courage. Wow. My guess is that speaking up had to be one of the hardest things you ever did. And most courageous.

Situations do evolve…while you are the scape goat at the moment, there is no way to know how things might change so that you just might get the credit you deserve. Or you might not. But it’s clear that you know in your heart you did the truely loving thing. I applaud your courage.

]]> By: Brenda http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/08/02/who-goes-first-courage-in-the-face-of-complicity/#comment-222 Brenda Fri, 11 Aug 2006 14:07:49 +0000 http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/08/02/who-goes-first-courage-in-the-face-of-complicity/#comment-222 I know all too well the price of speaking up and standing up for the powerless. I have been "exiled" by my two children and my ex-husband (their father) for six years now because I dared to speak up for my grandson (my daughter’s son) who was being abused. The abuse started when he was 10 months old (6 years ago). Authorities stepped in when he was 13 months old. He was taken away from my daughter by the DFS on two separate occasions between the ages of 13 months and 30 months. While I was not the one who contacted authorities (both instances were reported by pediatricians), I was instrumental in proving the abuse, which is why I have been exiled I believe. I had video taped my visits with my grandson over a month long period. When the authorities stepped in, I was asked for the video as evidence. Because it provided proof of the abuse, my handing it over was considered a deplorable act of hatred by my children (an attitude I believe was created, encouraged and continues to be reinforced by their father). My heart aches for the love of my children and grandson and for my grandson’s well being, but I know I did the right thing. Even though being “thrown away as filthy garbage” is more painful than I could ever imagine, it would have been even worse had I chosen not to stand strong and then had to live with something even more tragic. It’s easier to bear suffering for doing right than suffering for doing wrong. I pray for each of them every day and am so thankful for the faith I’ve been given that keeps me strong. I know my exile is a way for them to put off facing the truth and owning responsibility for their actions. I agree with your statement, Meryl, in your August 9th news letter, saying “it’s the lies and silence people can’t handle”. I too will take a difficult truth rather than an easy lie any day. I miss my kids and grandson more than words can tell, but I know I couldn’t live with myself had I chosen not to stand strong against the abuse. Silence is the only thing that allows abuse to flourish. I pray every day that, since I am no longer allowed to be in the picture, someone else will choose to be strong and speak up for my grandson if the abuse is still taking place. And I humbly ask for other’s prayers, not only for my grandson, but for all those made to endure the pain of abuse. I know all too well the price of speaking up and standing up for the powerless. I have been “exiled” by my two children and my ex-husband (their father) for six years now because I dared to speak up for my grandson (my daughter’s son) who was being abused. The abuse started when he was 10 months old (6 years ago). Authorities stepped in when he was 13 months old. He was taken away from my daughter by the DFS on two separate occasions between the ages of 13 months and 30 months. While I was not the one who contacted authorities (both instances were reported by pediatricians), I was instrumental in proving the abuse, which is why I have been exiled I believe. I had video taped my visits with my grandson over a month long period. When the authorities stepped in, I was asked for the video as evidence. Because it provided proof of the abuse, my handing it over was considered a deplorable act of hatred by my children (an attitude I believe was created, encouraged and continues to be reinforced by their father). My heart aches for the love of my children and grandson and for my grandson’s well being, but I know I did the right thing. Even though being “thrown away as filthy garbage” is more painful than I could ever imagine, it would have been even worse had I chosen not to stand strong and then had to live with something even more tragic. It’s easier to bear suffering for doing right than suffering for doing wrong. I pray for each of them every day and am so thankful for the faith I’ve been given that keeps me strong. I know my exile is a way for them to put off facing the truth and owning responsibility for their actions.

I agree with your statement, Meryl, in your August 9th news letter, saying “it’s the lies and silence people can’t handle”. I too will take a difficult truth rather than an easy lie any day. I miss my kids and grandson more than words can tell, but I know I couldn’t live with myself had I chosen not to stand strong against the abuse. Silence is the only thing that allows abuse to flourish. I pray every day that, since I am no longer allowed to be in the picture, someone else will choose to be strong and speak up for my grandson if the abuse is still taking place. And I humbly ask for other’s prayers, not only for my grandson, but for all those made to endure the pain of abuse.

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