August 9, 2006The Fact that I Love You is No Concern of Yours
The first time I ever heard the phrase,
The fact that I love you is no concern of yours
was when my late husband spoke those words to me. It was the first time he ever told me he loved me, and he said it in a way that implied there were no strings attached to the love he proclaimed.
I feel a freedom in knowing that Mike had the awareness about love he did. In our eight years of marriage and in the years after his passing, I experienced a wide range of emotions toward him. Some were beautiful and some weren’t so pretty. But I know he wouldn’t want me to feel remorse for any of it, because he would know that the fact that I loved him, got mad at him, was afraid of him, was proud of him…the fact that I felt whatever I felt toward him was not his concern. And as my friend and I discovered this week, the same emotions that some might have great concern over can in fact be a gift when we listen with an ear that doesn’t take what they say personally.
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I don’t get it. Soo where exactly is the powerphrase.. should I learn to say that to some one.. or is there no powerphrase but just the tip to not take that personally..
Comment by Dwayne — August 9, 2006 @ 5:15 pm
I was exercising my editorial perogative to share a phrase that impacted me. But who knows if and when someone might have the opportunity to use the phrases. It makes a powerful point, that the speaker loves without strings or expectations. I can’t imagine much more powerful a point than that.
Comment by merylrunion — August 9, 2006 @ 6:45 pm
I agree with Dwayne, I don’t get it either. There is another context that is beneath this statement and I don’t see how the comment or the commentary that the author provides demonstrates the SpeakStrong motto of “Say what you mean, mean what you say and be nice when you say it.” In a loving committed relationship between two people, no one, in this writer’s opinion, should have to guess or wonder whether their partner love’s him/her. It seems to me a stronger power phrase would have simply been “I love you.”
Comment by Christine — August 10, 2006 @ 6:13 am
I agree with Meryl. I believe what she is saying is, “It does not matter whether you love me, are mad at me, frustrated or happy with me, I love you.” It is liberating to realize that how you feel about me is not my business. You can feel however you want and I will behave in the manner I believe is appropriate and integrus, no matter what you’re doing.
Comment by Cindi — August 13, 2006 @ 2:58 pm