Comments on: Freeze Up http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/08/16/freeze-up/ By Meryl Runion and SpeakStrong, Inc. Mon, 01 Dec 2008 19:20:39 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Kathleen http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/08/16/freeze-up/#comment-229 Kathleen Sat, 19 Aug 2006 15:32:35 +0000 http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/08/16/freeze-up/#comment-229 I have a combo method for similar situations. We have a lot of pressure and unresolved conflicts in my workplace, which I seldom have any authority to resolve. I do however have opportunities to let others vent. Since I do this all the time, no one thinks of it as anything other than my particular "schstick" at the time. When I hear rough or mean comments aimed at ANYone, including myself, I say one of two things. "Oooh. Tough crowd." or "Rrrouh" (like a cat fight noise signifying "catty"). I smile or laugh as though I am equally entertained, then move away. Everyone generally laughs, as it tends to bring the conversation to an end and ease built up tensions. (At least that's my sense of it.) So as not to put the person who made the comment on the hot seat, if the comment seemed aimed at me, I will directly address it later, in what I hope is a sincere, calm way, inviting an honest response. Something like "I made a joke about it before, but is there maybe really something I'm doing that you'd like to talk about?" I know it wouldn't work for everyone, but I am a bit of a comedian, so it seems to work well for me. I have a combo method for similar situations. We have a lot of pressure and unresolved conflicts in my workplace, which I seldom have any authority to resolve. I do however have opportunities to let others vent. Since I do this all the time, no one thinks of it as anything other than my particular “schstick” at the time. When I hear rough or mean comments aimed at ANYone, including myself, I say one of two things. “Oooh. Tough crowd.” or “Rrrouh” (like a cat fight noise signifying “catty”). I smile or laugh as though I am equally entertained, then move away. Everyone generally laughs, as it tends to bring the conversation to an end and ease built up tensions. (At least that’s my sense of it.)

So as not to put the person who made the comment on the hot seat, if the comment seemed aimed at me, I will directly address it later, in what I hope is a sincere, calm way, inviting an honest response. Something like “I made a joke about it before, but is there maybe really something I’m doing that you’d like to talk about?” I know it wouldn’t work for everyone, but I am a bit of a comedian, so it seems to work well for me.

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