August 16, 2006“I’m So Glad You Spoke Up” about Hugs
There was excellent feedback to the hug question from the August 2 newsletter. Here’s the follow-up success.
I chaired the meeting last week on Boundaries. I was able to speak about how difficult it can be for me to hug at times. I was the last one to speak, and there was a real difference after our closing prayer. Some people told me “I am so grateful you spoke up, I have the same issue and have been too afraid to speak about it,” others told me “Thanks for sharing what was in your gut with us, we’re privileged to know you trust us at that level,” and one or two avoided me completely. I’m grateful for your affirming responses. I will not be overly concerned with people’s reactions. This is one more step in taking care of myself. Thank you again.
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I say invade, I hug is an amazing thing to give and recieve, you may want to ask if it’s ok befor you go around hugging eveyone, but the power of humen touch is amazing.. .so go for it give someone a hug, hell even if you just give someone a hug it still will most likley get them to feel good and positive, but I would reccomend asking so you don’t neccessary invade a bubble that doesn’t want to be popped
Comment by Scott White — October 3, 2006 @ 6:29 pm
I learned too late that a former colleague, who had asked me (as an earth-mother type) to give her neck rubs when she was in pain, really hated being hugged — which I did frequently with her and everyone else in the office. She never said, until the day that I was fired, that she hated it — even from her own mother. I wish she would have spoken up; I have a feeling that the rest of the things I did that irritated her were only exacerbated by the invasion of her boundaries. Not having learned my lesson, I turned my hugs on my nephew’s fiancee, who confided to my sister that she didn’t enjoy hugs. My sister learned from hard experience with her own “don’t hug me” sons that not everyone does . . . I figured my former colleague’s unease was an abberation, but maybe I’m the one who needs to cool the jets. I’ll certainly be more careful in the future.
Comment by Michele Bartlett — October 4, 2006 @ 1:02 pm