September 5, 2006The Poison Phrase Police
A few years ago I chose “no problem” as the Poison Phrase of the week. Recently I ran across a posting by Dianna Booher making a similar argument about how responding to a request by saying “no problem” implies that the request could be a problem.
A comment on Dianna’s post suggests that she and the others who object to the phrase are nitpicky, and has personal problems and insatiable needs for validation.
The commenter both missed the point and made a useful point. It’s fun to vent about the Poison Phrases that we have been offended by. It’s helpful to learn about Poison Phrases to evaluate our own choice of words. It’s useful to know how Poison Phrases affect us so we can choose responses and avoid reacting. But if knowledge of Poison Phrases turns you into a critic, just waiting for an opportunity to be offended, the study of the phrases becomes detrimental.
Enjoy reading the Poison Phrases in the survey. Let them entertain you and increase your awareness of the impact your words have on others and others’ words have for you. If you become the Poison Phrase Police, be sure you are only policing yourself – and when needed, letting others know how you want to be spoken to.
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Just now I was filling out the Poison Phrases survey when I came across the phrase “Do you understand?” I’ve often used this line to confirm with my listener that they are following what I am saying. I am surprised to find it is a Poison Phrase! Could you please help me understand why?
Comment by Virginia — September 6, 2006 @ 5:30 pm
I find it is less what people say than the tone of voice in which they say it and the context of the remark that will annoy or irritate me. I have also learned that there are some people that I am “prepared to be annoyed with.”
I did the ranking exercise an very few of the choices were “poisonous” to me out of context, however when I went and read the stories I can certainly understand their being categorized that way.
Comment by Vicky Baugh — September 6, 2006 @ 8:30 pm
I’ve used “no problem” many times meaning that the request really presented no problem to complete in the time requested. People often come to me to design a poster or banner in a short time frame. They come into my office, note that I’m busy on a project and start to leave. When I ask them how I can help, they acknowledge that I appear busy and don’t want to take up my time with a small request. I ask about their request. If I can complete it in the time requested without delaying my previous task I’ll accept the project. “Are you sure?” is the usual response, to which I say “No problem!.” This is a phrase that can be used both ways.
Comment by Robert Harris — September 7, 2006 @ 7:29 am