Comments on: My Boss Doesn’t Like Me http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/11/02/my-boss-doesnt-like-me/ By Meryl Runion and SpeakStrong, Inc. Wed, 19 Nov 2008 17:09:52 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Marilyn Haight http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/11/02/my-boss-doesnt-like-me/#comment-469 Marilyn Haight Mon, 06 Nov 2006 13:29:49 +0000 http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/11/02/my-boss-doesnt-like-me/#comment-469 I would recommend a slightly different approach: avoid the words "feeling" and "like" in your opening sentence. These are personal expressions and you are at your place of business. You and your boss must work together to meet business objectives; it's not about becoming friends—which is what "like" implies. And if you talk about your feelings, you'll take this conversation in a direction you don't want it to go, making it about your personality rather than workplace issues. Instead, start with a question focused on job performance—something like, "I've noticed that you tend to avoid me. I'm wondering whether that's an expression of your confidence in my ability to do the job or whether there's something else we need to talk about." Then wait silently for a response and address your boss's comments from a business perspective. It's always to your advantage to come from a position of strength rather than a position of weakness. If this boss is intentionally trying to hurt you, you will be giving her permission to do by telling her you anticipate undeserved consequences. Stay strong and confident—you've done nothing wrong. Don't give your boss an even greater sense of power over you by expressing your fear of undeserved consequences—approach her as if you expect fairness—even if you have to pretend. I would recommend a slightly different approach: avoid the words “feeling” and “like” in your opening sentence. These are personal expressions and you are at your place of business. You and your boss must work together to meet business objectives; it’s not about becoming friends—which is what “like” implies. And if you talk about your feelings, you’ll take this conversation in a direction you don’t want it to go, making it about your personality rather than workplace issues.

Instead, start with a question focused on job performance—something like, “I’ve noticed that you tend to avoid me. I’m wondering whether that’s an expression of your confidence in my ability to do the job or whether there’s something else we need to talk about.” Then wait silently for a response and address your boss’s comments from a business perspective.

It’s always to your advantage to come from a position of strength rather than a position of weakness. If this boss is intentionally trying to hurt you, you will be giving her permission to do by telling her you anticipate undeserved consequences. Stay strong and confident—you’ve done nothing wrong. Don’t give your boss an even greater sense of power over you by expressing your fear of undeserved consequences—approach her as if you expect fairness—even if you have to pretend.

]]> By: Sheila Bailey http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/11/02/my-boss-doesnt-like-me/#comment-456 Sheila Bailey Thu, 02 Nov 2006 19:34:06 +0000 http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2006/11/02/my-boss-doesnt-like-me/#comment-456 (This was in reference to how well I handled someone getting all bent out of shape because I looked at them with a naughty glint in my eye.) What does this phrase mean? Is this a male or female speaking? What transpired between the speaker and Jean? (This was in reference to how well I handled someone getting all bent out of shape because I looked at them with a naughty glint in my eye.)
What does this phrase mean? Is this a male or female speaking? What transpired between the speaker and Jean?

]]>