November 10, 2006My Ex-Bully Boss
I wrote a month or so ago about my boss who has a serious reputation of being a bully. He is often verbally abusive and disrespectful. I was assigned to work for him building the organization’s website. My abilities and professionalism were denigrated, and this was all before knowing anything about me. A few weeks ago, I was showing him the website. I need his approval to “publish” it. He said something about how he was surprised that I was able to make the website work, because I was just one of the “pukes”. I told him not to call me that. I was not a “puke”, I was a professional and I did not appreciate those kinds of comments. He tried to pass it off by saying it was a compliment. It did not feel like one and I told him I was not accepting it that way.
Since that time, he has become friendly and not as abrasive to others as when I first met him. I am not the first person to stand up to him, but because I was able to, my business relationship with him has become much easier. He has actually told people that my website is “looking good”.
I am going to start working on him about how he treats others, the ones he is still picking on. I do appreciate your advice and realize that things changed because I was able to SpeakStrong.
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Bravo! It is very hard to speak up and not be sarcastic back. It is much easier to say nothing. But often the bully notches it up abit. I know from experience that it is worth it to go there. I have tried complimenting on appropriate comments & any project the conflict staff person has exceled at. This also seems to improve the atmosphere and make everyone more respectful. It is good that you recognized the behaviour for what it was..in my situation that took awhile. Hope it works out for you.
Comment by Pauline — November 11, 2006 @ 9:27 am