November 22, 2006Holiday Goals
Holiday Goals
I hope your holiday weekend is as fabulous as I plan to make mine.
I didn’t always enjoy my holidays. Over twenty years ago, when my son and I drove to my parents for a visit, I noticed I was nervous. When I asked myself why, I realized I was going with an unconscious goal of winning approval. Then and there I redefined my goals and my definition of what a successful holiday would be. I decided I was going to give, and if my presence contributed to their enjoyment, I would consider it a success. It turned out to be our best holiday ever.
When you stop trying to get things from people that they can’t give you, you become more open to who they are and what they can. Some people don’t get your funniest jokes. Some people can’t meet you in your most tender emotional moments. Some people don’t appreciate your amazing culinary creations. You still can enjoy who they are.
Sure, you may have to speak up about some things, like getting help with the dishes, turning the TV off during dinner or not wanting a third helping of your grandmother’s pecan pie even though it’s delicious. You may have to call your sister on her snark (look it up or figure it out) or let your mother know that leaving early doesn’t mean you don’t love her. But if you set attainable goals for a delightful time, you’re likely to have it. PowerPhrases are targeted, and so are powerful weekends.
If you haven’t taken my communication survey, consider taking it now, before you celebrate the holidays with someone who sees the world through a different lens than yours. (The complete survey is available in my book PowerPhrases!)
Set your own conscious and attainable personal holiday goals, and no matter what you do, have a fabulous Thanksgiving weekend. I’m planning on it. My goals are to contribute to my son’s holiday enjoyment during his visit, to get two new chapters written in my next book and to turn 53. I expect to be quite successful.
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Meryl,
I have completed the Communication style survey and have recently started dating someone new whose communication style is clearly very different from my own. My results showed that I am a Visionary – and if I had to guess, without the benefit of him taking the survey, I would guess he is a Reflective.
I thought it might be interesting to see sometime the best way to learn to communicate with a person of another communication style when you recognize it to be different from your own, and maybe a short profile of the communication style possibilities. Communication, and the way we do it, has such a huge impact on all of our relationships but I feel it most in my personal relationships.
I also wanted to say that I really enjoyed the survey and felt that the results I received described me to a “T”.
Thank you!
Comment by Andrea — November 22, 2006 @ 1:27 pm
Happy Birthday….53 is great!
Comment by Pam — November 22, 2006 @ 7:50 pm
Thank you for the Holiday Goals piece. I often have the same feelings and now that I can identify them, it will be much easier to manage them.
In fact I used it already when I found myself getting anxious this week over entertaining we are preparing for, I paused and reminded myself that our extended family get-together isn’t about me/house/decor … it is about all of us getting together!
This is a wonderful tool that I will use and appreciate!
Comment by Jane — November 30, 2006 @ 11:39 am