December 14, 2006Christmas Gift Exchange
My friend and I go around and around about Christmas presents each year. This year I told her I didn’t want to exchange gifts because I didn’t want for either of us to feel the pressure to pick the perfect item. Half an hour later she emailed me a link to a website for relaxation aids and told me to pick anything on it. She went on and on about how great a site it was, but I saw nothing I wanted there. In the past I would have picked something to avoid offending her, especially since she seemed so excited. This time I responded differently. I said, “You’re right, it is a great website and looking at it made me realize how I already have all the relaxation tools I need. Thanks for thinking of me. Let’s not give gifts this year.”
My friend said, “Okay,” and that was it.
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When you have both friends and immediate family, the gift-giving can get overwhelming. Here are two ways that it was addressed in my family:
I had a gf whose bd was in Feb 2 days from my sister’s, mine in April near her mother’s so we changed the date that we exchanged a combined christmas/bd present. It was so special! We went to a nice restaurant for lunch and exchanged presents. We picked St Pat’s day.
My parents, tired of the hunt for the perfect present while the stores were crowded resolved not to give us kids (in our 40s, nothing to tell a therapist LOL) presents for Christmas. Instead, if they found something perfect, they sent it anytime during the year. These “for no reason” presents were very much treasured.
Comment by Susan — December 14, 2006 @ 5:20 pm
In our large family, members were often faced with pressure to visit others on Christmas day and our scheduling was a nightmare.
We resolved the problem by having “Family Christmas” the last Saturday in November. Nearly everyone could schedule the time. We did the whole “Christmas Thing” with a feast, presents and plenty of good cheer.
This took the pressure off Christmas day when we were all more relaxed, not concerned when family members had other obligations and we still had the memorable family tradition of a Chirstmas together.
Comment by Malcolm — January 4, 2007 @ 3:42 pm
I am in several groups of friends who do a “small” ($20 or less) gift exchange - but we all list several items that we would like to receive and when presents are exchanged, everyone is happy, you got what you wanted (even a gift card for a store) and if it is music, books, or clothing, it’s right.
I have a large family (7 siblings and assorted in-laws) and we decided about 10 years ago that we were just getting to over-the-top with presents on Christmas, so now we draw names (same thing applies to listing of items), we have a $50 limit and that makes everyone happy. My parents were always in this (dad died last year, but mom still is at 90) and it saves everyone money they could be using for the heating bill, gas, etc.
Comment by Lynn — January 5, 2007 @ 7:52 am
As you get older, you have more and more and need less and less. I also move about every 2 years, and deploy for months at a time. Additionally, many of my nieces and nephews earn far more than their parents or I ever will. The other year my brother, sister-in-law, and I decided not to swap presents for Christmas. We are older and are trying to share some of our treasures with the younger generation. I still was sending gifts for my nieces, nephews, and their children.
This year, the idea caught on with the nieces and nephews. When they heard of the charities I picked to donate in their parents honor, they turned out to be some of their favorite charities, so for my gift, they donated in my honor.
This make it easier for all of us and gives me an ever warmer glow that getting a present for myself. I know that someone who needs it will get some help, people didn’t have to shop, and I didn’t get anything I couldn’t find a place for.
Lots of winners in this!
Comment by liz.montgomery — January 5, 2007 @ 12:04 pm