January 11, 2007A Congregation With No Complaints
Last week I wrote about my one day “question fast” – a day when I refrained (or attempted to refrain) from asking questions to break a habit of asking too many questions. This week, I read about a Kansas City minister who has his congregation going through a “complaint fast” for 21 days to break themselves of that habit. They were given arm bands with the instruction that when they slipped, they would switch the bands to the other wrist and start over.
After two months, only one member of the congregation has met the challenge.
Communication habits that don’t serve you can actually be “speech addictions.” It’s never easy to break an addiction, but it can be done. And when ineffective or destructive habits give way to powerful communication, everything changes.
What speech habit would you like to change? Start today, and see what you can do. (There are some great comments on the question fast idea in the blog.)
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Complaining is normal. We all do it. Would it be helpful to have “get it together” meetings to talk about how they, the members of the congegration, feel about the wristbands and about how they think they’re all doing? You know…. Group Therapy…. AHHH a good thing I think.
Thank you,
Deanna Q
Comment by Deanna Quast — January 11, 2007 @ 10:52 am
I don’t know that this regards speech habits as such, but I found myself frequently starting my drive to work with negative thoughts about co-workers or incidents that had or may happen. I realized I was setting the stage to arrive in a less-than-sunny mood and made myself do a 180-degree turn. Now, every morning before I put on the FM radio or audiobook, I make myself say ten positive thoughts aloud, such as my grandson’s name, or a comment on the beautiful weather for a drive, or my work plan for the day, or the beautiful sunrise that has started. I suppose you can say I have taken a lifelong fast from starting out on a negative note, and it really does work for me.
Comment by Joan Schliewenz — January 11, 2007 @ 10:54 am
Sounds like a Unity Church. I’m going to use this in my church here in Wichita. Thanks!
Comment by Brent Sprunger — January 11, 2007 @ 11:45 am
My office, like so many others, has a problem with gossip, and to my shame, I discovered not long ago that I was one of the major contributors. I hadn’t even realized I was doing it, but facts were facts. I was guilty as charged.
Over the past four or five months, I’ve been trying to break myself of the addiction. That is exactly what gossip is, too. I do not permit myself to speak about anything unless I have firsthand knowledge of it AND it pertains in a professional way to the topic at hand. If I don’t have firsthand knowledge, I state my source and notify that person so they are aware. Whenever possible, I tell my source I will state them as a source before the fact.
By sticking to the facts and firsthand knowledge, I find myself being much more accurate in my work conversations and steering away from gossip. By stating my source, and letting the source know it, I find others are not approaching me with as much gossip. Ironically, I have also noticed others are more ready to confide in me these days.
Do I still gossip? Not nearly as much as before, and I’m getting better at resisting it every day. Some of my chat-friends don’t chat me up much anymore because they know my gossip well is drying up, but I’ll trade that for people trusting me any day!
Comment by DLPoff — January 16, 2007 @ 11:04 am
DL – great post and I particularly like how specifically you created your action steps. Joan, that’s a habit of how you speak to yourself – and it’s great to develop new habits for that conversation. Brent, it was Christ Church Unity. Deanna, I do see a place for complaining in life, and I think your suggestion is a good one. Complaiing consciously for release can be healthy, and I certainly advocate addressing issues – and knowing what your purpose is.
Thanks for your posts!
Comment by merylrunion — January 17, 2007 @ 1:53 pm
The wristbands are a great ideal to bring attention to gossip that really should not be happening .I think it is the worse habit a person of faith can get into. I
know of the destruction it can cause firsthand .
Comment by Frances — January 18, 2007 @ 8:29 pm