January 11, 2007Asking for Unwaivering Faith
Recently I had a sudden insight to a way of thinking that was holding me back from being happy with myself and my life. I shared my epiphany with a close friend. A few days later, she left me a message to say that she called to “check my attitude”. This made me angry but instead of striking back with “thanks, but I don’t need a babysitter,” I thought about what I really needed from her. I got her a card that expressed my gratitude for her friendship. I wrote a note to say how much I appreciated her taking time to call - however, it made me sad to think that she was doubting my ability to change. I told her that I need her to believe in me. She has been supportive ever since.
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This is a really positive story about how to reinforce your message without hurting the people you’re communicating to. What struck me most in this letter is the strength of your own convictions - you have the strength to believe in the path you have chosen, and also the strength to enlist friends (and possibly detractors) to support your efforts. This is a great reminder that the power to change has to come from within. Thanks for sharing.
Comment by Anthea Curtis — January 11, 2007 @ 6:56 pm
What a great thing to stop before responding to your friend with your first angry reaction and think about what you needed from her to support you. I know I, personally, appreciate it when my friends “check up” on me after I have told them something I have decided to change about myself. It means they care enough to hold me accountable for those changes. That, to me, is the best support I could ask for although I understand not everyone will share in my sentiments. I think you handled the situation beautifully, in asking her directly for what you needed.
Comment by Kelly R. — January 12, 2007 @ 8:47 am