January 18, 2007We Thought It Was None of Our Business
In the comic strip “For Better or Worse,” Elizabeth tells Vivian that she was shocked that the whole town knew of Paul’s relationship with Susan, her replacement teacher. Elizabeth asked, “Why didn’t anyone tell me?”
Vivian replied,
- We thought it was none of our business.
If you are aware of a deception and you don’t speak up, you become complicit. I don’t recommend “tattling” without notice in most situations, but I do recommend telling the deceiver,
I’m not comfortable keeping your secret for you. When do you plan to tell her? Because if you don’t plan to tell her soon, as her friend, I will tell her myself.
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I wish some of my friends would have been adult enough to tell me about a personal situation, rather than cop-out and say “It’s none of my business”, “I didn’t want to get in the middle of it”. This is a great way to tell someone you don’t feel comfortable with a secret. Great advice.
Comment by Sarah — January 18, 2007 @ 1:11 pm
Be prepared for a strong, often angry reaction when you confront the deceiver. Long ago I had a boyfriend who gave me an STD. A year after our break-up I learned he was dating another woman. I asked him if he informed her. He said no. I said I would tell her if he didn’t. He went through the roof. He yelled and screamed and told me it was none of my business. He accused me of sour grapes, spitefullness and vindictiveness. None were true, but I was sufficiently cowed and did not tell her. I have often felt bad for not speaking up. If I had, perhaps I would have saved another woman from what happened to me. Telling the truth often comes at a price, but so does not telling the truth.
Comment by Sandy — January 20, 2007 @ 9:49 pm