Comments on: Unsolicited Advice

By: merylrunion

merylrunion — Thu, 08 Mar 2007 14:42:12 +0000

Jim, it’s hard to know what to say since I don’t know what about it bothers you. Before you speak, be sure you know. I would imagine some of your concerns are for her and some are for you. I would imagine some are more noble and some are more self-serving. So own them all when you talk. You may need to confess to some judgments you’re not proud of, and some concern that reflect your deep love for her. Whatever you discover, when you speak of it, be clear what you hope to accomplish. Do you want to open up to a new level of honesty? Do you want to get past something that has become a barrier? Do you want her to take better care of herself because of how much you love her and want her around and well? Whatever the goal is, keep your eye on it. approach the topic from the perspective of disclosure rather than advice, and think as a team rather than you against her.

Good luck! I’d love to get a success story and give you a Pippi award.

By: Jim Erickson

Jim Erickson — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 14:58:39 +0000

When my wife and I got married, she weighed about 15-20 pounds lighter than she does today. It does bother me and I’ve attempted to talk to her about it. She gets very upset because, as you say, it’s unsolicited advice. It affects our physical relationship and probably more, I’m not sure. So, how would you approach the subject?

By: Patricia Harrington

Patricia Harrington — Thu, 15 Feb 2007 18:28:47 +0000

I’m an absolute believer that words are powerful. They can build up and they can tear down. Literally. Relationships and nations. I’ve found a phrase that I learned as a young teacher that has been helpful in many situations. When tacklinga problem with folks who have differing opinions, sometimes strident ones, I beging with that creative problem solving phrase . . .

“In what ways can WE . . .”

I’ve found that inclusive word “We” that also suggests we are on an equal plane, equally validated and value, and our ideas, also, helps to calm the waters. We then focus on the problem, looking at its parts and then the resources we have to deal with it.

As a writer of mystery novels, I am always conscious of the power of the words from my characters, which convey their inner emotions and conflicts, without stating the actual, “I’m mad or angry or upset.”

It’s the “because” explanation that then can lead to some understanding and the path to resolution, if that’s called for in the scene.

Yours in mystery and word-dom,

Pat Harrington

When

By: merylrunion

merylrunion — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 01:56:16 +0000

The best way is to make a soup stock by boiling bones and other parts of animals we usually discard, but you also can get it at a health food store or grocery - Knox gelatin is classic. They have one made for nails but it is twice the price and contains undesirable additives, and the plain gelatin taste fine mixed with water. Let me know how it works for you!

By: Lupe Jones

Lupe Jones — Thu, 01 Feb 2007 21:16:29 +0000

I really enjoy the articles. I do have a questtion are we talking about gelatin pills. I have seen them at the store. 0r do we get them at a health store? I also heared that they work. Thank you for sharing.