February 1, 2007You’re Broke, Aren’t You?
It was a prosperity seminar. Someone raised his hand to ask a question about a comment the leader made that didn’t sound right to him.
The leader responded with,
-You’re broke, aren’t you?
The implication was that only unsuccessful people would question what he said.
I wonder how many people held their questions after that put-down. It sounded like a classic attempt to silence dissent by attacking the credibility of the questioner.
4 Comments »
RSS feed for comments on this post.
| TrackBack URI
You can also bookmark
this on del.icio.us or check the cosmos
Hi Meryl,
I’m so glad you included this one as a poison phrase as I also attended this workshop and read the presenter’s book in which he (seemingly proudly) shares that he uses this phrase often to answer people’s “yeah, but” questions. I am personally put off by this type of response and I agree it had a “silencing” effect on me, and it felt to me the kind of “shaming” statements heard in a dysfunctional family, specifically designed to (even if done unconsciously) deter the questioner from asking anymore questions.
I am an educator myself (holistic education) so when I attend seminars I am often interested in teaching styles. This particular workshop had a series of “blanket phrases” that were used that seemed designed to “shift” someone’s energy or belief. (example: the presenter would give some information, then say to the audience “yes or yes?” and of course the crowd would respond “yes”. I understood what they were trying to do, but didn’t agree with their methods. I have had challenges with money throughout my life and attended this workshop in a sincere effort to learn something and perhaps shift my consciousness around money. If my “thinking”is the issue, I would prefer to have someone “reflect” that back to me so I can discover for myself (see the light so to speak) that I have created the situation and learn new skills around it, rather than to feel put down by hearing “you’re broke, aren’t you.” I have some people in my life who have a similar communication style in which I feel my communication gets blocked by their responses to me. I have had to speakstrong and say (without putting them down for their style) “hey, I have some difficulties in this area (e.g. money) and I could use your support and expertise because you seem to be successful in this area and I could certainly learn something from you if you would be willing to share what has helped you to be successful. (Better save me another one of those giraffes).
Comment by Barbara — February 4, 2007 @ 7:59 pm
I know workshops where they use such quesitons to really get points across both powerfully and effectively. One such great class is with peakpotentials.com. I beleive everyone on earth will benefit from this class tremendously as long as they attend all three days of it.
Reality is holographic and reality is sticky. So don’t get stuck on words but instead look at what they are really saying. Circumambulate, don’t fixate. Besides, whatever they are saying is their opinion and if it’s not the truth, move on. Can they be gentler? yes. Would they be more effective with more people in getting the point across by being more indirect and subtle? Mabye yes or maybe no. Sometimes, a direct straight-to-the-point opinionsis very helpful though it stings.
Take care and may peace be with you,
Comment by Jerry Wang — February 5, 2007 @ 2:34 pm
I disagree, Jerry. A wise speaker or seminar leader recognizes their words are very important and how they use them affect how their listeners receive their message. Speaking in the form of put-downs is not being direct or strong. It is rude and shows the speaker’s own weakness and insecurity.
DLPoff
Comment by DLPoff — February 8, 2007 @ 10:54 am
This is the first time for me to disagree with Jerry. I will say the audience members are well advised to see if the shoe fits, but seminar leaders who tear audience members down practice a technique I do not endorse…even if the idea is to build them back up.
Comment by merylrunion — February 14, 2007 @ 2:56 pm