March 8, 2007Too Much Visual Information
This afternoon, the lady who cleans our office mentioned that she became a grandmother last week. As we were talking, she pulled out her cell phone to show me the photographs of the new baby. I was admiring the little bundle of joy when, with no warning, she clicked on a series of close-up photos that showed the actual birth. (As my Grandmother would say: I saw her whole name and address.)
Meryl, I know where babies come from. But I hardly know and I’ve certainly never met her son’s girlfriend. And now I’ve seen pretty much all there is to see of this young woman. I pretended it didn’t bother me, but inside I just froze. She continued to click through the pictures and I made “la la” talk, but I was just locked up.
Meryl, what would Pippi have said?
Meryl’s Response
I admit, I laughed at your question. For those who are new to SpeakStrong, Pippi is a cute sufed giraffe and she’s my symbol for speaking from a high level. Pippi would probably figure it’s a one-time occurrence and let it go, but if she really didn’t want to see the pics, she would have said,
Thanks but I’ll pass on these,
Or,
I’m not comfortable seeing these,
Or,
I like to pretend that babies come from storks. Please, tell me it’s true.
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This story represents one of my social stress points these days – how evolving technology impacts behavior; and calls to mind one of my favorite sayings – “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”. We are “treated” to little “symphonies” from ring tones all over the office. Tweeting birds and crickets might not be so bad, but when the pop rock or patriotic marches or hip hop jingles burst out into the office airways unexpectedly, I am unnerved to say the least, and certainly I am distracted from my work. When a blind person is walking through an intersection, there is a dog or white cane to clue me in. I am on high alert. But otherwise, when an apparently healthy adult is walking through an intersection, I expect them to be as aware of me as I am of them. But not so anymore. Many of them have phones hidden in their hair and they are talking and gesturing to thin air, with little or no attention being paid to what’s going on around them. I have to take on the task of “taking care of” the unconscious person walking thru the intersection as is they were mentally incompetent or drunk. Children can apparently no longer be expected to participate in any social experience with adults. They go everywhere plugged in to a hand held game or music device. Will they know how to have a normal adult conversation by the time they are grown? And I’m sure by now we have all had more than a few encounters with a driver whose first priority is the conversation on their cell phone, rather than the navigating of their vehicle. A television blares constantly in our only cafeteria at work. Few of those who end up facing it seem to be able to tear themselves away long enough to have a normal conversation, even when it is something they would not normally choose to watch. Even in places that used to function as social gathering places, patrons come in with devices to plug in so they can SENSE each other I guess, while they “compute” and “listen” and “talk”? Or maybe the device serves as a way to start a conversation?
I know that in a few years my reactions will probably be seen by everyone as just the rantings of an old woman who couldn’t keep up. (I can remember the controversy over answering machines, and whether they were rude or not. I couldn’t function without an answering service now.) But in the meantime, I’m asking myself, “how did we become this herd of electronically driven shadow beings?” (Since I grew up in the 50s, and spent an inordinate amount of time watching that new invention, the television, with little or no discretion as to content, I can connect the dots. But in a larger social context, it does disturb me. I’m picturing plugged in lemmings headed for the cliff. Are there ways to deal with these scenarios on a day to day basis, other than to “go with the flow?” Have others felt the same way and found ways to deal with either their feelings or the situations I describe?
Comment by Kathleen — March 9, 2007 @ 8:36 am
Kathleen,
While I feel your pain, I think the example given–while undoubtably uncomfortable–is the opposite of what you’re describing. The new grandmother was using technology as a way to “enhance” face-to-face conversation. Now how much it was enhanced is still up for discussion.
Comment by Jaclyn — March 11, 2007 @ 6:56 pm
Kathleen, I love your expression, just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
Comment by merylrunion — March 14, 2007 @ 8:22 am