March 22, 2007The Invitation of a Fake Smile
He may be smiling, but does he mean it? She says she’s okay with everything, but is her smile genuine? Many people will hide behind accepting words and fake smiles. When I think a smile may be insincere, I try to get behind it. I will give every opening I can think of to invite the truth. I have been thanked for calling people on their fake smiles and inviting them to be genuine.
However, according to the BBC “spot the fake smile test,” I’m not as good at spotting a fake smile as I thought I was. Take the test, and when you discover your results, read the smile-spotting tips at the bottom of the webpage.
In order to Speak Strong, it’s important to know the difference between a true expression of pleasure and a feigned one. A fake smile can be an invitation to keep talking until you get to the heart of every matter. It can be an invitation to keep going until you get a genuine smile.
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The trick is in the eyes. If you cover the smile and look into the eyes and compare, it becomes clear which is fake, content and real.
Comment by Regina — March 22, 2007 @ 1:00 pm
Personally if I’m having a bad day or don’t feel smiley and I pass someone I think it is RIGHT to smile anyway. The person I’m smiling at is not at fault for whatever I’m unhappy at. Most of the time at work, in town, etc…I dont know the person well. WHY would I want to share my bad feelings with them? Venting and complaining is something I do with those I’m close to…my husband, close friends. I don’t want to spread my bad mood to others by avoiding eye contact or not smiling. Besides even if my smile is not indicative of MY immediate good feelings or happiness, I do MEAN to give a smile of friendliness. Why not spread sunshine anyway and SMILE. Perhaps we need to try harder to be genuine and consider that even though you may not FEEL like smiling, the person you’re passing may be blessed by a smile and why not give a smile away?
Comment by Adina — March 22, 2007 @ 1:26 pm
Ah, yes, Adina. There is a place for fake smiles. I sometimes work with people who use smiles to mask issues that needs to be addressed and others who don’t know how to not smile when talking about serious matters. But I agree - there’s a place for faking it.
I also suspect that on some level, we all really know when it’s fake and when it’s not. (In that case we might be relieved to be able to pretend things are okay when we sense they are not.)
Comment by merylrunion — March 29, 2007 @ 11:39 am