Comments on: Weren’t You Listening? http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2007/03/22/werent-you-listening/ By Meryl Runion and SpeakStrong, Inc. Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:59:55 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: merylrunion http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2007/03/22/werent-you-listening/#comment-1094 merylrunion Thu, 29 Mar 2007 17:31:49 +0000 http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2007/03/22/werent-you-listening/#comment-1094 Great point Sharon - i'm so glad you're there to share the hard of hering perspective. and you, Cindy, great insight as usual. Great point Sharon - i’m so glad you’re there to share the hard of hering perspective. and you, Cindy, great insight as usual.

]]> By: Cindy Mueller http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2007/03/22/werent-you-listening/#comment-1090 Cindy Mueller Wed, 28 Mar 2007 16:18:37 +0000 http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2007/03/22/werent-you-listening/#comment-1090 This type of situation, where the boss asks a question in an accusing manner, is a GREAT opportunity to practice taking control of a communication transaction. It seems that Al's boss is trying to turn the situation around and make Al feel responsible for some discrepancy. This type of implied criticism, where a question is asked in an accusing tone, is very difficult for me to handle. We are socialized to answer a question when asked. Just try NOT answering when someone asks you a question. I can usually feel a sense of pressure welling up inside as I struggle to resist the urge to defend myself. I would probably reply with my own question. "What was it I said that made you think I wasn't listening?" and leave the onus on the boss to justify his response. I wouldn't accept the implied criticism that I hadn't been paying attention. Then I would reframe my original question to get the answer I needed in the first place. Kudos to Al for standing up for himself! This type of situation, where the boss asks a question in an accusing manner, is a GREAT opportunity to practice taking control of a communication transaction. It seems that Al’s boss is trying to turn the situation around and make Al feel responsible for some discrepancy. This type of implied criticism, where a question is asked in an accusing tone, is very difficult for me to handle. We are socialized to answer a question when asked. Just try NOT answering when someone asks you a question. I can usually feel a sense of pressure welling up inside as I struggle to resist the urge to defend myself.

I would probably reply with my own question. “What was it I said that made you think I wasn’t listening?” and leave the onus on the boss to justify his response. I wouldn’t accept the implied criticism that I hadn’t been paying attention. Then I would reframe my original question to get the answer I needed in the first place. Kudos to Al for standing up for himself!

]]> By: Sharon Campbell http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2007/03/22/werent-you-listening/#comment-1082 Sharon Campbell Fri, 23 Mar 2007 21:50:22 +0000 http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2007/03/22/werent-you-listening/#comment-1082 When someone has a hearing loss, they can be listening as hard as possible and still misunderstand. To respond with "Weren't you listening?" is a great way to get someone to quit asking the questions necessary to ensure that we are actually communicating. Even without a hearing loss, everyone misunderstands sometimes. When someone has a hearing loss, they can be listening as hard as possible and still misunderstand. To respond with “Weren’t you listening?” is a great way to get someone to quit asking the questions necessary to ensure that we are actually communicating. Even without a hearing loss, everyone misunderstands sometimes.

]]>