My husband and I just froze, unable to speak or move for several minutes. Then the nurse came in and started straightening the room for the “next victim.” i was still lying on the table, looking around the room, wondering where the cancer situation was. I was pretty sure the doctor would have told me if “the cancer situation” was inside me, right? So I got up, got dressed and was heading out the door when the receptionist called me back to give me the referral for “my” oncologist. So, I had my own oncologist.

Later, in the car on the way home, I turned to my husband and asked him, “Did the Doctor say I have cancer?” My husband just shrugged his shoulders and said he didn’t know. I had my own oncologist, but did that mean I had cancer?

I was terribly confused. I attacked the bookstore and bought two great books: “Take This Book to the Hospital with You” and “Take his Book to the Gynecologist With You.”

When I saw the oncologist the next day, I was ready with my list of 40 questions. He was impressed with my assertiveness and my need to know exactly what I was facing and what needed to be done. Then he told me that we had to agree that I didn’t have cancer until we had conclusive test results. Presto-chango! I no longer had cancer. I was able to think more clearly, ask clarifying questions, and insist on getting answers I understood. Since this incident, I am relentless with doctors. I believe this book, How Doctors Think, will come in handy!

Just to end the story, I had the surgery the oncologist recommended and it turns out everything was benign. This was 10 years ago and I am healthy, but I will never look at the doctor-patient relationship in the same light.