March 29, 2007If That Means Anything to You
Meryl,
I searched through past Poison Phrases and I don’t see one I detest—
- If that means anything to you.
Do you agree that this is a slap in the face, when the speaker adds this phrase when answering my question? How should I respond?
Meryl Responds
It certainly can be a Poison Phrase. It can sound condescending because it implies you don’t know anything at all. It could simply be an attempt to ask if their answer made sense, but I can understand the trigger you experienced.
I often respond to what I believe to be the intent of a comment rather than the poor wording. If this comment were spoken to me with goodwill, I’d answer as if they had asked – “Was my answer clear?”
If I thought it was intended as a put-down, I might ask,
- It sounds like you’re suggesting I don’t know anything about this topic. Is that your intent?
Or,
- Are you aware of how dismissive that comment sounds?
I have some people in my life I can easily tell when their word choice triggers me – and they return the favor. In those cases, it’s not a big deal at all.
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Sometimes when I am speaking with someone whose background I don’t know, I may say that if I don’t know if they understand the jargon I just used. If they don’t understand what I said, then I rephrase it in lay language. This is a real issue with computer jargon for me. Lots of what some of those experts say to me could be in Greek for all that I get out of it.
The tone and body language should indicate if they are going for clarification or put-down.
Comment by Sharon Campell — March 29, 2007 @ 4:15 pm
Are you aware of how dismissive that comment sounds?
I will use this one too.
Comment by LaMoor — February 13, 2008 @ 12:59 pm