April 5, 2007If I Could…Would You Be Mad at Me?

Filed under: Poison Phrase of the Week by merylrunion |

It wasn’t the first red flag in our conversation, but it was a bright one. The sales rep asked me,

- If I could bring thousands of paying customers to your website, would you be mad at me?

I responded by informing him that while I was interested in his services, I didn’t like that kind of leading questioning. He acted affronted.

I do teach the use of questions to get people saying yes in my book How to Use PowerPhrases, but not in this way. I tell a story about a friend who maintained his job after a major error by asking his boss a series of questions about her perception of his previous performance. She acknowledged that his overall performance was excellent and was convinced to overlook his recent error.

So what’s the difference between what I recommend in my book and what I experienced yesterday?

The vendor’s question contained the assumption that he could get me thousands of paying customers and asked a no-brainer question about my emotional reaction. The purpose was to get me questioning the wrong thing, and give an automatic yes that would predispose me to using him. My friend asked genuine questions that addressed the appropriate issues. His questions got his boss to answer questions that put his recent error in its proper perspective. The vendor sought to obscure, my friend sought to clarify.

After I passed on the offer I searched the web for the sales rep and his company. I found a plethora of posts on their bad business practices. My impressions were confirmed.

Learn about how to direct a conversation in a positive direction in: PowerPhrases and my article, How to Tell if You’re Talking to Shark

www.speakstrong.com