April 11, 2007Indirect Negativity
Meryl,
I am the manager of an employee that I feel needs to be disciplined due to bad attitude. This employee has been written up in the past and ever since the write up now makes negative remarks openly within the department just loud enough so co-worker friends can hear. The remarks are always made in a way that prevents correction due to them not being made directly at someone. The times I have attempted to make correction this employee immediately pretends she is not pointing comments at anyone in particular. Could you please provide speak strong correction suggestions for how to address someone that is so good at making their negative comments in this manner?
Meryl Responds
Words don’t need to be directed toward someone to be actionable. It sounds like they have an impact as presented, and that impact needs to be addressed.
However, I do recommend you focus on the behavior and its impact instead of the attitude.
When someone who works for me displays a bad attitude, my first line of conversation is an attempt to see if anything is going on that is causing malaise. I might say,
- When you say things like that it causes me to wonder if you don’t want to be here or if there’s something bothering you. Because it sounds negative and leads me to think you’re not happy here. Is there something we can address that can help?
Sometimes you’ll uncover an issue that has nothing to do with the incidents.
If there isn’t anything, let her know the effect her words have. Say,
- Are you aware of the impact of remarks like…? I understand and appreciate the fact that you no longer address negative comments to people directly, but your remarks still have a demoralizing impact. Is that your intent, or are you unaware of the impact?
Then, remind her every time she does it.
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I’ve experienced that situation in the last year. I addressed it in writing because one of our aspects for evaluating performance relates to how employees interact with others to foster and maintain work relationships. I used specific examples and stated how the employee’s actions did not contribute to a positive work environment. Relating the employee’s behavior to job performance was the key for me.
Comment by Maria — April 12, 2007 @ 4:36 pm
I like Meryl’s advice. Address the behavior and not the attitude. Attitude comes from feelings. We have to be free to have and experience our own feelings; we just need to find better ways to express them if and when it’s appropriate.
In my experience, people who behave in the way you described, are feeling powerless. They’re standing behind a boulder and throwing stones, because they feel they have no other options left to them. Giving the employee an opportunity to address the underlying concerns may solve not only the immediate problem, but also create a foundation for a better relationship with that employee in the future. But I think to serve that purpose, the approach has to come from a place of concern for the employee first, on the part of the boss, rather than a concern for the work place. That can come later, in a summarizing moment, if appropriate.
The only thing I am hesitant about in Meryl’s advice is specifically the “you don’t want to be here” wording. For me, this particular phrasing conjures up some “love it or leave it” associations. In business arenas it seems to be a common ploy to give the subtle, or not so subtle, impression that if you are not “happy” then you are not a team player or you should be somewhere else. That slant to me is no different than the employee who is taking a feeble and indirect way to address concerns. It is a way of avoiding dealing with issues directly, or perhaps the intended message really is “please be a robot and bring nothing to the workplace but what it takes to do the job.”
I know I have gone off in a direction Meryl was not intending to go. My reaction to those particular words may emphasize the point made in management training that different aged employees are motivated by different things. (And therefore, de-motivated by different things I suppose.)
Comment by Kathleen — April 14, 2007 @ 10:12 am
Great point Kathleen. Do you have a suggestion for another way to initiate a conversation about underlying issues?
Comment by merylrunion — April 15, 2007 @ 1:49 pm