June 7, 2007What to Say When the Boss Want You to Tattle

Filed under: Ask Meryl by merylrunion |

Even with HIPPA in place, when people take medical leave, it often becomes gossip fodder. My managers have approached me saying, “I/we know you know what’s going on with _________, so what’s the deal?” Of course, I never would admit to having any inside information on the person or their affairs.

What should I say when a manager pressures me to share personal information about my coworkers?

Meryl Responds

Let them know you need to protect your sources or you won’t have any. It’s in management’s interest for you to have the trust and confidence of your coworkers. If you violate that trust, you’ll be kept out of the loop, and even if you don’t disclose the specifics, you can provide better support to management when you are in the loop. So you might say to your manager,
• That’s not for me to say. If I share my coworkers’ confidences, I’ll lose them. I’m more useful to you if I am kept in the loop of what’s going on.

Also,
• I was told that in confidence. When you confide in me, I respect your privacy, and I need to extend the same courtesy to them.

If it’s a legal issue, a stronger response would be appropriate. Something like:
• That information is protected by law, so I’ll keep us both out of trouble by not responding.

Or:
• Are you aware that information is protected by law? I know some people discuss that kind of thing freely, but I have a policy not to.

On the other hand, don’t let yourself get put in the situation of keeping secrets that management should know. For example, if someone confides in you that they are leaving and asks you to keep it secret and you find out that management is considering putting that person on a key project, it puts you in an unfair situation of divided loyalties. I recommend heading off that situation by saying,
• Please don’t confide anything in me that you don’t want me to tell my manager.

Readers?