Comments on: Poison Phrase of the Week

By: LaMoor

LaMoor — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 19:10:11 +0000

I probably would prepare prior to asking any question after the first encounter. I would had a copy of the spec and while asking the question pointed out the approved trim and ask the question. ” A wise man told me leave no stone unturned.” Come prepared.

By: merylrunion

merylrunion — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 18:57:47 +0000

Great observation, Kathleen. Thanks!

By: Kathleen

Kathleen — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 19:38:57 +0000

Restating the original question can be a tool for staying on track. But it won’t address the underlying cause of the deflecting strategy – which I think is usually fear. In this scenario, it sounds like the contractor already feels responsible for the delay, and hasn’t figured out how to fix all the resulting scheduling conflicts, even though they may not be his fault. He may be fearful of lost respect from the client, or an emotional scene with the client. He may be fearful of long term lost professional reputation or even lost revenue. A threat to someone’s ability to make a living is serious, even if it’s an imaginary threat. I have found a direct response to the underlying fear, if I can identify it, said in a kindly but firm tone, can be more useful. Something like “I’m not blaming you, Bob. I know you can’t control everything that affects timeframes. I was just trying to get a more realistic idea of when I could plan __________ for this room.”

By: merylrunion

merylrunion — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 18:50:29 +0000

Great approach. It keeps you from getting sidetracked.

By: Cynthia Mueller

Cynthia Mueller — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 19:22:55 +0000

Deflection! I see this type of response from the contractor as an attempt to avoid accepting responsibility for the construction delay and misdirecting Peter’s attention to a trivial detail. It can be so easy to fall into the trap of allowing yourself to be deflected. Since I am more aware of this tactic, I try to ignore it and just re-state my original question.