August 31, 2007QuickBooks – 1 ShoppingCart conversation

Filed under: Discussion Topic by merylrunion |

My bookkeeper and I have been struggling to integrate our 1shopping cart with our QuickBooks accounting program. It’s been a long discovery journey and I want to share the results for three reasons:
1) Save those of you who use these from the nightmares we experienced
2) Provide a forum in case there are some fixes we haven’t heard about and to, 3) Encourage the users to encourage the vendors to make these programs more compatible.

This QuickBooks article resulted from our inquiry. If you use these programs, read on.

(more…)

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August 30, 2007Blog format and new book title feedback request

Filed under: Discussion Topic by merylrunion |

How do you like my new blog design? And do you like the byline? Can you suggest something you’d like better?

I also would like feedback on the book I’m writing now. My title is:

SpeakStrong

Say What You Mean
Mean What You Say
Don’t Be Mean When You Say It

You can see a cover mock-up here.

Someone suggested that it was too much to have it in four sentences, each of which are directives.
What do you think?

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August 28, 2007This Week in the World – a flair for the dramatic

Filed under: This Week in the World by merylrunion |

She could push my buttons like no one else. Yet I went relatively untriggered during a four day visit last week.

I gained the awareness I needed to bridge our communication while preparing for my most recent teleseminar, How to Talk to Your Communication Opposite. (Check back for the CD to become available.)

She didn’t change – I did. I listened with the awareness that she has a different communication style from mine. She’s more dramatic and figurative than I am. I decided to put my logic aside and to stop taking her so literally.

It was the best visit I remember ever. I look forward to the next.

Learn about how it all unfolded in my article: The Logician and the Dramatist: Learning How Not to React

I invite you to read that article and comment here.

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August 28, 2007PowerPhrase – What do you admire about each other?

Filed under: The PowerPhrase of the Week by merylrunion |

Before diving into the issues, I asked Jack and Bonnie to tell me,

  • What do you admire about each other?

Both were able to come up with several things they admired. It softened the discussion of the areas of disagreements to know they both recognized positive qualities in each other.

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August 28, 2007Poison Phrase – The nature of the beast

Filed under: Poison Phrase of the Week by merylrunion |

Fern’s office was the last stop in production before the product went out to the client. Because the sales department over-promised, she was often faced with unrealistic deadlines. When Fern went to her general manager to tell her a deadline was impossible, the manager said,

- That’s the nature of the beast.

The manager turned and walked away without waiting for a response.

Fern found the remark dismissive.

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August 28, 2007Ask Meryl: Casual dress

Filed under: Ask Meryl by merylrunion |

A newer coworker friend dresses too casually. The boss told him to upgrade, but it had no effect. How can I suggest he dress more professionally without hurting his feelings? He comes from a very casual industry.

Meryl Responds

If the boss already told him, he knows and it’s his call not to comply. Still, if you’re concerned that his attire will limit his success, it might be worth risking offending him. I’d say,

* I know you know about our dress code and I’m concerned it will come back to bite you that you don’t follow it. I’m curious, why don’t you dress according to code?

You can decide from his response if you want to emphasize the value of following the code.

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August 14, 2007This Week – she took it like a man

Filed under: This Week in the World by merylrunion |

Have you ever heard the song, She Took It Like a Man? The singer is afraid to break up with his “fragile” girlfriend, certain she would be devastated. She wasn’t. She cussed, slammed the door and stormed off to the bar. He didn’t think she could take it, but “she took it like a man.”

The song really says he expected her to take it like an unconscious, weak woman and instead she took it like an unconscious, belligerent man.

Sure, women can be belligerent and men can be weak. However, the stereotypes we have exist for a reason. There is a tendency for men to dominate and women to retreat. Even now, the Good Old Boys Club is alive and well and many women defer to it. I saw that just this week with a mentee.

The story is too long for my newsletter, but you can read it here.

Tips for dealing with the GOBC are here.

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August 14, 2007PowerPhrase: Please invite a woman

Filed under: The PowerPhrase of the Week by merylrunion |

Joho was invited to a high power conference, but when he realized the attendees were 100% male, he declined. He suggested,

* Please use my spot to invite a woman.

Joho knew it was a fabulous networking opportunity, but chose not to take advantage of it because he didn’t want to support the exclusionary nature of the event.

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August 14, 2007Poison Phrase: Quit Your Whining

Filed under: Poison Phrase of the Week by merylrunion |

There are many better ways to note an injustice than whining. However, many perpetrators avoid responsibility for their actions by accusing their victims of whining.

William Lobdell wrote a moving story that illustrates how common blaming the victim is in our culture.

When someone says,

- Quit your whining,

I wonder if the person speaking is blaming their victim for objecting to mistreatment.

If you’ve been following the incest thread in my blog, you know how common that is.

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August 14, 2007Ask Meryl: Pay Increase

Filed under: Ask Meryl by merylrunion |

I’d refer to the going rate for what you’re doing now. I’d say,

Since my job description and salary no longer reflect my responsibilities, I want to discuss fair compensation. According to my research, if we were to outsource what I’m doing, it would cost ___. The average salary for my current responsibilities is ____. I think a ___% raise would be appropriate.

Talk in terms of the value you are bringing, but also will add in the future.

Tell me how it goes.

Be sure to read my article, How to Ask for a Raise

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