August 31, 2007QuickBooks - 1 ShoppingCart conversation
My bookkeeper and I have been struggling to integrate our 1shopping cart with our QuickBooks accounting program. It’s been a long discovery journey and I want to share the results for three reasons:
1) Save those of you who use these from the nightmares we experienced
2) Provide a forum in case there are some fixes we haven’t heard about and to, 3) Encourage the users to encourage the vendors to make these programs more compatible.
This QuickBooks article resulted from our inquiry. If you use these programs, read on.
August 30, 2007Blog format and new book title feedback request
How do you like my new blog design? And do you like the byline? Can you suggest something you’d like better?
I also would like feedback on the book I’m writing now. My title is:
SpeakStrong
Say What You Mean
Mean What You Say
Don’t Be Mean When You Say It
You can see a cover mock-up here.
Someone suggested that it was too much to have it in four sentences, each of which are directives.
What do you think?
August 28, 2007This Week in the World - a flair for the dramatic
She could push my buttons like no one else. Yet I went relatively untriggered during a four day visit last week.
I gained the awareness I needed to bridge our communication while preparing for my most recent teleseminar, How to Talk to Your Communication Opposite. (Check back for the CD to become available.)
She didn’t change – I did. I listened with the awareness that she has a different communication style from mine. She’s more dramatic and figurative than I am. I decided to put my logic aside and to stop taking her so literally.
It was the best visit I remember ever. I look forward to the next.
Learn about how it all unfolded in my article: The Logician and the Dramatist: Learning How Not to React
I invite you to read that article and comment here.
August 28, 2007PowerPhrase - What do you admire about each other?
Before diving into the issues, I asked Jack and Bonnie to tell me,
-
What do you admire about each other?
Both were able to come up with several things they admired. It softened the discussion of the areas of disagreements to know they both recognized positive qualities in each other.
August 28, 2007Poison Phrase - The nature of the beast
Fern’s office was the last stop in production before the product went out to the client. Because the sales department over-promised, she was often faced with unrealistic deadlines. When Fern went to her general manager to tell her a deadline was impossible, the manager said,
- That’s the nature of the beast.
The manager turned and walked away without waiting for a response.
Fern found the remark dismissive.
August 28, 2007Ask Meryl: Casual dress
A newer coworker friend dresses too casually. The boss told him to upgrade, but it had no effect. How can I suggest he dress more professionally without hurting his feelings? He comes from a very casual industry.
Meryl Responds
If the boss already told him, he knows and it’s his call not to comply. Still, if you’re concerned that his attire will limit his success, it might be worth risking offending him. I’d say,
* I know you know about our dress code and I’m concerned it will come back to bite you that you don’t follow it. I’m curious, why don’t you dress according to code?
You can decide from his response if you want to emphasize the value of following the code.
August 28, 2007Reader success story - No more hate speech
My boss was on yet another rant about a particular ethnic group and why “They will be irrelevant in ten years” and how such and such political candidate should just tell this ethnic group to “Go F&@# themselves” and . . . You get the drift.
I have had it with this kind of talk. I’ve told him before, several times that I don’t appreciate this kind of language or this kind of hate-talk. He is a professional, who prides himself on his professionalism. Where does this kind of behavior fit into the image of a professional? GGGrrrrrrr.
On Thursday in mid-rant, I slammed my hand down on my desk and stood up. I looked him in the eye and said, “I’ve asked you before not to use that kind of language or hate-talk around me. I won’t listen to it.” Then I picked up my keys and my purse and started to edge around him to leave the office. He was too shocked to speak, but he didn’t move out of the way. While we were standing there (in a little stare-down), a consultant who works in our office walked up and started to tell an off-color joke. I looked directly at my boss and said, “It’s because you use the language you do, that he feels comfortable telling jokes like this. I won’t listen to this.” I left for an early lunch and didn’t return until after 1:30. My boss was waiting at his desk to apologize.
I think my point is that, in the past I had been asking him to stop. By taking active steps, standing up and picking up my purse and keys, I declared that I wouldn’t listen. I was taking away his audience. When he saw the consultant mimicking his behavior and I attributed it directly to his own words, I believe he saw the light. My leaving was just the punctuation. I don’t like confrontation and I’m embarrassed to say that I didn’t feel strong enough to hang around after making my point. I sort of feel like I pulled a punch-and-run. If I was able to make this one tiny change in my workplace, I’ll be happy. Thanks again for the courage.
August 14, 2007This Week - she took it like a man
Have you ever heard the song, She Took It Like a Man? The singer is afraid to break up with his “fragile” girlfriend, certain she would be devastated. She wasn’t. She cussed, slammed the door and stormed off to the bar. He didn’t think she could take it, but “she took it like a man.”
The song really says he expected her to take it like an unconscious, weak woman and instead she took it like an unconscious, belligerent man.
Sure, women can be belligerent and men can be weak. However, the stereotypes we have exist for a reason. There is a tendency for men to dominate and women to retreat. Even now, the Good Old Boys Club is alive and well and many women defer to it. I saw that just this week with a mentee.
The story is too long for my newsletter, but you can read it here.
Tips for dealing with the GOBC are here.
August 14, 2007PowerPhrase: Please invite a woman
Joho was invited to a high power conference, but when he realized the attendees were 100% male, he declined. He suggested,
* Please use my spot to invite a woman.
Joho knew it was a fabulous networking opportunity, but chose not to take advantage of it because he didn’t want to support the exclusionary nature of the event.
August 14, 2007Poison Phrase: Quit Your Whining
There are many better ways to note an injustice than whining. However, many perpetrators avoid responsibility for their actions by accusing their victims of whining.
William Lobdell wrote a moving story that illustrates how common blaming the victim is in our culture.
When someone says,
- Quit your whining,
I wonder if the person speaking is blaming their victim for objecting to mistreatment.
If you’ve been following the incest thread in my blog, you know how common that is.
