August 7, 2007Shell-Shocked
Roy apologized to Jenny for his verbal attacks during a negotiation the week before, yet Jenny wasn’t ready to reengage. She wasn’t sure why, until she found the word that best described how she felt. She told him,
I still feel shell-shocked.
The right word to describe an experience not only helps the other person understand, it helps the person having the experience figure it out too.
I am creating the beginnings of an emotional vocabulary list and would love your input. My early beginnings are here. http://www.speakstrong.com/articles/speak-strong/emotions.htmlAdd your own in comments.
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Please post your favorite emotional words. Thanks!
Comment by merylrunion — August 7, 2007 @ 11:47 am
Queasy. Say it out loud. Doesn’t it sound just like what it defines? I think it would be a fine addition to your list. And it would flesh out the “Q” section of the list quite nicely.
Comment by John Reinheimer — August 7, 2007 @ 1:59 pm
I have used the word “fragmented” to describe the inability to move forward in a situation, or the inability act due to confusion from spreading oneself too thin (both physically and emotionally).
Comment by Susan Hoopes — August 8, 2007 @ 5:24 am
I have recently used the word admonished and it works very well to convey feeling blamed punished etc. Hope this helps someone else!
Comment by Kara Pratt-Frome — August 8, 2007 @ 8:05 am
Thank you for developing this list. I have found it to be very useful for my parent/child anger management class. One of the sessions specifically focuses on feelings and feeling words and feelings games; surprisingly enough this is where adults, more than children, have the most problems expressing themselves. Once again thank you for starting this list
Comment by Rosie — August 10, 2007 @ 11:10 am
I nominate: pissed, and livid
Comment by Lee Beaumont — May 9, 2008 @ 6:11 pm
Shell-shocked is an interesting and descriptive way to convey “the aftermath of attack”. I like its descriptiveness.
It’s not clear if these neotiations are of a work-related nature, but I’ll assume they are. In that scenario, were I Jenny and had I been verbally attacked by Roy (who apologized), I’d have let it go long before a week was passed. If verbal attacks followed by “apologies” were to be a habit of Roy’s, however, then I would learn to remain unengaged, save myself the shell-shock, and the phrase I’d use to describe my feelings about relating with Roy would be, “I’m feeling untouched by Roy’s toxic load”.
Comment by kym — January 29, 2009 @ 7:10 am
unworthy- Is a word that has been used around me as a child and sticks with you as you get older and out in the as adults call the real world. I am sure that there are people out they that understand this and need to change this into feeling WORTHY / We are all worthy of something. I am still trying to figure it all out and I am in my mid 50′s so it is never ever to late to learn.
Comment by Becky — June 25, 2009 @ 12:08 pm
For me, worth is a non-issue. Or I like it to be. Because if we decide we’re worthy, we’re still judging rather than being. I like to think about my cat who just is. Worthy or not? Am I going to meter out approval based on whether she successfully catches the mouse or not?
When I decide I’m worthy, it can always turn into non-worth. It’s head stuff. As soon as I get absorbed in creation that inspires me or absorbed in nature or stand in awe of someone I love, my worth questions don’t matter at all.
Comment by merylrunion — June 25, 2009 @ 12:37 pm
I try not to engage my mind in any thought process that seeks to quantify my worth–in any traditional sense. However, what I do strive for earnestly is for it to have mattered that I was here before I leave. Meaning whether or not I made a difference–outside of my own family–during my time here. And I specifically say outtside, not because I do not value them, rather I am completely head over heels for them! My point in making that distinction is that I SHOULD take care of them and matter to them by virtue of who I am daily. But deliberately reaching beyond one’s on proverbial “house” is the sticky and more difficult achievement especially in today’s busy world. So I choose to calculate only how much I matter to others based upon what I’m putting out there in the world. Not skinny/fat, whitty/dumb, etc… Have a great day everyone!
Comment by Victoria — July 9, 2009 @ 1:38 pm
Nice, Victoria! Yes, it’s such a joy to give our gift and have it make a difference. “Quantify” is a great word for the measurement that can take the fun out of what could be joyful sharing and service. Giving because it’s our nature is such a joy. Giving to prove ourselves worthy is a chore that IMO diminishes the thrill of giving. We can turn anything into work, and it’s a delight when it becomes a joy again.
Comment by merylrunion — July 9, 2009 @ 2:47 pm