August 14, 2007Poison Phrase: Quit Your Whining
There are many better ways to note an injustice than whining. However, many perpetrators avoid responsibility for their actions by accusing their victims of whining.
William Lobdell wrote a moving story that illustrates how common blaming the victim is in our culture.
When someone says,
- Quit your whining,
I wonder if the person speaking is blaming their victim for objecting to mistreatment.
If you’ve been following the incest thread in my blog, you know how common that is.
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I can certainly see how the phrase “Quit your whining” can be used to turn the situation back on the victim. However, we live in a population that has a huge amount of unvictimized whiners. For those, I think the phrase is appropriate. As my election year button says, “Don’t vote? Then quit your stinking whining!”
Nik
Comment by Nik Nikkel — August 14, 2007 @ 12:55 pm
I’m with you there, Nik. I prefer phrases along the lines of “What are you going to do about it?” for chronic complainers, but I agree whining is an unacceptable substitute for action.
Comment by merylrunion — August 28, 2007 @ 1:04 pm
Whiners are irritating, but not everyone who voices a complaint or raises an issue is whining. Many people see a problem but don’t necessarily see a solution. These people are usually quite willing to take action to solve the problem, but they need assistance in finding that solution.
When someone is speaking up about being abused in some fashion, major or minor, they are not necessarily whining either. Again, they might well be willing to take action, but they need help finding out what a solution is.
DLPoff
Comment by DLPoff — August 31, 2007 @ 8:21 am
As one who has a knack for spotting matters requiring attention or action, I truly appreciate DLPoff’s comment. I do not always have the answers or solutions – isn’t this where teamwork comes in? I often find myself justifying why I’m raising an issue rather than getting to work on finding a mutual solution.
It is refreshing to see a an understanding point of view!
Comment by N Dewji — September 4, 2007 @ 6:16 pm