August 28, 2007Reader success story - No more hate speech
My boss was on yet another rant about a particular ethnic group and why “They will be irrelevant in ten years” and how such and such political candidate should just tell this ethnic group to “Go F&@# themselves” and . . . You get the drift.
I have had it with this kind of talk. I’ve told him before, several times that I don’t appreciate this kind of language or this kind of hate-talk. He is a professional, who prides himself on his professionalism. Where does this kind of behavior fit into the image of a professional? GGGrrrrrrr.
On Thursday in mid-rant, I slammed my hand down on my desk and stood up. I looked him in the eye and said, “I’ve asked you before not to use that kind of language or hate-talk around me. I won’t listen to it.” Then I picked up my keys and my purse and started to edge around him to leave the office. He was too shocked to speak, but he didn’t move out of the way. While we were standing there (in a little stare-down), a consultant who works in our office walked up and started to tell an off-color joke. I looked directly at my boss and said, “It’s because you use the language you do, that he feels comfortable telling jokes like this. I won’t listen to this.” I left for an early lunch and didn’t return until after 1:30. My boss was waiting at his desk to apologize.
I think my point is that, in the past I had been asking him to stop. By taking active steps, standing up and picking up my purse and keys, I declared that I wouldn’t listen. I was taking away his audience. When he saw the consultant mimicking his behavior and I attributed it directly to his own words, I believe he saw the light. My leaving was just the punctuation. I don’t like confrontation and I’m embarrassed to say that I didn’t feel strong enough to hang around after making my point. I sort of feel like I pulled a punch-and-run. If I was able to make this one tiny change in my workplace, I’ll be happy. Thanks again for the courage.
4 Comments »
RSS feed for comments on this post.
| TrackBack URI
You can also bookmark
this on del.icio.us or check the cosmos
BRAVO!!!!!!
Comment by Heidi — August 28, 2007 @ 2:49 pm
You Go Girl!
We need more people who are willing to take a stand on an issue and stick to it. Well done!
Comment by Rebecca — August 28, 2007 @ 5:11 pm
In your story you said, ” I’m embarrassed to say that I didn’t feel strong enough to hang around after making my point.” I don’t think you should feel embarrassed at all. Sometimes it’s best to say you piece and then give the other person some space and time to think about all that was said. It also takes away that need for them to be defensive. Confrontation can be a fearful thing, but being brave doesn’t mean you have no fear, it means you do the right thing even if you are afraid.
Comment by Kathy W. — August 29, 2007 @ 11:11 am
When I was younger, I would get caught up in gossip and mean-spirited criticism without realizing I was violating my own ethics. That hasn’t happened in a long time,but I still occasionally have to stand my ground with those who speak that way in my presence.
I love this story - it shows that while a PowerPhrase is a strong as it needs to be and no stronger, sometimes it needs to be pretty strong! Sometimes you’ve just got to let people know you mean it.
Thanks to Cynthia for standing up in priciple - and for sharing it with us all.
Comment by merylrunion — August 30, 2007 @ 3:59 pm