August 28, 2007PowerPhrase – What do you admire about each other?
Before diving into the issues, I asked Jack and Bonnie to tell me,
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What do you admire about each other?
Both were able to come up with several things they admired. It softened the discussion of the areas of disagreements to know they both recognized positive qualities in each other.
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I LOVE this question! When people are angry with each other, it’s too easy to get caught up in negative thoughts that translate into words that spiral into the wrong directon. I’m angry. You’re wrong. You’re an idiot. You always…. I hate you.
By deliberately redirecting the participants’ attention to admirable qualities, you expand the scope of the discussion and establish a supportive frame for them to work through the disagreement.
Comment by Cynthia Mueller — August 29, 2007 @ 9:13 am
Generally I find the men I work with start out with the idea that this is “touchy-feely” but end up liking it as much as the women.
When I’m dealing with my own issues I’ll bring up what I admire about the other person too. It helps when I’m ready to ask them to make a change for me.
Comment by merylrunion — August 30, 2007 @ 3:48 pm