September 16, 2007Reader story - sexual harrassment in the military
Last week, a friend attended Tailhook – a Navy convention that in 1991 had spiraled so out of control, it became the subject of a sexual harassment scandal and investigation. My friend was told the investigation was overblown. So I asked my military contacts and friends: “Was the Tailhook investigation overblown?” Most thought it may have been because the media does like sensational headlines, but that overall the investigation was necessary and valuable.
I received one response that opened my eyes to what the climate was like: for one female at least, in one branch of the military during the years that led up to Tailhook. I’ve always respected Celia – but now I respect her more than ever. Here’s what she said:
Quickly, I don’t believe the issue of Tailhook was overblown. The military was put under civilian authority to keep control for a good reason. We are not a dictatorship, nor is our government a military regime. The military answers to the Secretary of Defense (a civilian) who answers to a civilian (our President). The President also serves as Commander in Chief.Sexual harassment is a MAJOR problem in the military. It was a lot worse 20-30 years ago than it is today.
I was 5′9″ and 145 lbs, white, female, intelligent, and competent. I’m not pretty in the conventional sense, but I looked Midwestern, wholesome (some say “corn-fed”), green eyes and reddish brown curly hair. In high school, I was not anywhere near cheerleader or prom queen pretty, but in the Army, I was quite a popular target for unwanted male attention.
Be sure to read the rest of the post by clicking “more.”
I received a lot of attention, not all of it positive. But I consider myself lucky. I was strong. I didn’t let my feelings get hurt by unkind words, name-calling, etc. I was physically large enough and strong enough to defend myself from a quick grab or a male soldier trying to physically intimidate me. I also started dating a very popular senior sergeant and I’m not naive enough to believe that didn’t help, too.
Probably the worst event happened when I won Battalion Soldier of the Year and had to travel to Munich on the train with my Command Sergeant Major. He grabbed me and attempted to drag me into his hotel room after the celebratory dinner. He had bought me several drinks during the dinner party and thought I was more intoxicated than I was. I was also a good six inches taller than he was and probably close to his weight. But I was angry. I shoved him and he hit his head on the corner of the end table in his room and I ran. I sat in my room on the bed in full uniform all night just waiting for the MPs to come and arrest me for attacking a senior NCO. The next morning, I went downstairs to check out and he wasn’t there. His door was still slightly ajar (I could see it from the front desk.)
Another senior sergeant came down and asked what I was waiting for.
I told this sergeant that I was supposed to meet my CSM at 0700 at the desk and he hadn’t shown. This sergeant went down and found him unconscious on the floor bleeding from a head wound. Musta gotten drunk and fallen down. That was the story they told. I spent the next six hours riding in silence in the train car to return to my unit with this man who attacked me. After about 2 hours, he announced he was getting off the train in Stuttgart. I told him I didn’t speak German. I had never ridden a train before. He was responsible for getting me back to the unit and he wasn’t going anywhere until I got back safely. Another 4 hours of silence and we arrived. We never mentioned it to anyone.
After that, I wasn’t afraid of senior sergeants or officers. A positive story, with negative results. A new adjutant was assigned to our unit (a captain) and he would grab my hips and rub himself on me. I told him to stop it. I fought him off a few times, then I reported it to my new boss (a female lieutenant). Within 5 minutes of telling her, we were standing in front of the Battalion Commander’s desk and this captain was ordered to apologize to me. I was mortified and I hadn’t done anything wrong. The captain was reassigned from our cushy headquarters job to a remote outpost near the Czech border by the end of the week.
Now this Lieutenant had a reputation for making waves. She requested reassignment after about six months and left. She couldn’t take the pressure from the male officers.
I could go on an on and even tell you about the time I woke up and discovered a senior commo sergeant drunk in my bed with me (in the barracks) and groping me while I slept. He had taken my roommate’s keys from her during a party in the dayroom and let himself into our room to have a little fun with me.
My long and winding stories highlight a few events over the course of approximately six to eight months. My point is that while men were harassing women, the men would not investigate. The consensus was that “boys will be boys and hey — you wimmen folk pushed your way into our club, you take what you get and keep your mouths shut.”
Which reminds me of the time I was actually told by one of the senior sergeants that if he wanted my mouth open, he’d push me to my knees and pull hard on my ponytail.
There’s no way on God’s green earth that the military would have handled this event internally. Maybe one or two males would have been disciplined. The women would still have been ostracized. The senior officers who allowed this disgraceful conduct would not have been disciplined. There’s nobody anywhere who could convince me differently.
Whew!!!! (Maybe that wasn’t so quick.)
It’s women like this who paved the way for the women who followed. That was an important point in the diversity training I did with a military group last week. It’s easy to forget where we came from.
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As much as the experiences described seem totally alien to me, I have to admit I was in a career field (U.S. Navy Journalist/Broadcaster) that attracted generally sensible, intelligent people who were aware of the issues and pretty much “on guard” about their behavior in and out of uniform.
I have, however, “witnessed” much lamentable behavior from many people I had previously respected. Men with wonderful wives/families, officers of standing and with much to offer, senior enlisted with many young enlisted watching indulging in “sex play” in Filippino bars during visits to Subic Bay, The Philippines.
You just never know what someone has going through his mind when he behaves like a moron.
Comment by Ron Pulliam — September 25, 2007 @ 12:31 pm
I’m wondering if this behavior pattern is connected to what I came to term the “Convention Mentality.” In my late 20s, I was sent on a job assignment that for the first time required out of state travel. I’d heard jokes & stories about these kinds of trips, but I always assumed they just idle gossip. I was apparently pretty naive. People I’d formerly had respect for became what I viewed as “someone else” when we all arrived at our destination. After this trip, I took to asking others who’d traveled in their job about this kind of behavior. The results of my “research” was a conclusion that human nature frequently allows for behavior quite different from our norm when our “watchers” (the people that love us & have an investment in our success as a human being - family, friends, & community) are absent. The military may be its own community, but that community is made up of lots of young men & women on their own for the first time, away from their “watchers”; and made up also of lots of career officers who no longer live among their true “watchers”. It seems as if it must be human nature to want to try out behaviors that are at the extremes of what is our norm among our loved ones, when we feel free from judgement and consequences. What I don’t get is why the military isn’t aware of this enough to want to provide a benevolent & paternal guidance on the issue, even while the necessity of what it takes to train a soldier may seem contradictory. I can’t imagine there isn’t room for something like “Your absence from your families and your training as a soldier may cause you to be tempted to behave like someone else other than your best self. Remember who you are when you are at your best. Remember those who love you and for whom you are fighting. The expectation is that as a result of becoming a soldier, you will become a better human being, not a worse human being.” I do not believe a soldier has to become sub- human to perform well as a soldier. Unfortunately the experiences of Celia and others I’ve spoken to, tell us there are those who think otherwise.
Comment by Kathleen — October 5, 2007 @ 10:34 am
I to was in the Air National Guard and regular AF and AF Reserves. The actions of what goes on TDY stays TDY is a common thread through out my career. I have lost of respect for my supervisors and peers for their actions while away from their loved ones.
It really creates problems when your supervisor knows that you know of his/her actions while TDY. Especially around appraisel time.
Morality and ethics are just words for most of the people I see and work with. Most are only concerned with their own careers. Doing the right thing whether it be abstinance or ethics is only things that used to matter.
I believe differently I have been TDY and find that most of the conferances I have gone to with regular civilians that they handle themselves quite well. I believe it is the mentality of the military that says this is acceptable behavior.
It is interesting to wath the reactions of the local people while the young pilots and airman are falling down drunk.
Comment by Dave — November 6, 2007 @ 12:57 pm
I would like to say that when I was on active duty in the military from 1975-1979, and then the Reserves from 1980-1997, I did not experience the kind of sexual harassment that has been mentioned many times over the years involving the military. Maybe I was lucky or maybe I knew how to handle myself in an appropriate manner when it came to my job duties. I was a young attractive girl, but knew the difference between right and wrong. There also was training provided on sexual harassment many times during my military career. So when I read about sexual harassment, I don’t understand why a person doesn’t have enough in them to just say “NO” or to go to someone for help with the situation. Instead things usually get blown into a big mess that could have been resolved with “speaking what you mean.” And for the record, it’s not just the mentality of the military, it is wide spread in all cultures of our world. Thank you for the opportunity to comment on this issue.
Comment by Susan Heller — November 20, 2007 @ 12:40 pm
I too work in a male dominated world and I deal with gender issues, not in the sense of sexual harrassment but in the sense of being given equal credit for equal contribution on the same team.
On the other hand, while it is an eye opener to hear about males taking advantage of females in the military, my experience of a female military cadet in the Army was quite different. I found this female cadet early morning, after having spent the night with my husband, who is a sergeant in the same reserve unit this female cadet was serving. This female cadet gave my husband gifts, frequently called his cellphone late at night, and during our confrontation that morning, she had the audacity to tell me that she knew I had sex with my husband the night before she did, and she didn’t care, and that she and my husband had a lot of things in common.
I guess my point is, in the same way that we are raising awareness and lifting the dignity of women to be respected in the military, it behooves female soldiers to also respect the boundaries of marriage for those soldiers whose attention they solicit or entertain.
Comment by DB — June 24, 2008 @ 3:34 pm