September 22, 2007This Week in the World ~ don’t hang up while I insult you
I was listening to political radio which I will call “Star Radio.” (To understand why, read my Pesos Widget post.) A supporter of the “Stripes” party called in, and began by saying, “I hope you’ll have the decency to let me talk, unlike other Star Radio hosts who hang up on me and don’t let me have a chance to talk.”
The Star host agreed to let him speak. I thought it might have been wiser to find out what the “Stripes” caller was like before making a commitment like that.
The Stripes caller then launched into a rant that started with, “You Stars are idiots if you believe a fraction of what you’re saying.” The Stripes caller continued with name-calling, insults and unsubstantiated personal attacks. There was no substance in his comments. The Star’s host handled the call pretty well, in my opinion. One thing he said was,
“I’d like for you to call in every day, but in order for that to happen, I need you to let me respond to your comments. Can you agree to that?” The caller did agree, and the host later reminded him of his commitment when the Stripes caller interrupted.
I wondered – does this man really not connect his own behavior with the response he gets? Does he really think he should be able to dominate, be provocative, make personal attacks and the host should just sit there and take it?
I have an email buddy with opposing political views who occasionally gets inflammatory. This week I suggested he knew on some level when he crossed the line, because he would say things like, “I’m sure this will make your blood boil” and “I shouldn’t say this, but I will.”
It’s important we heed our warning signals that tell us when we are making a point in a way that is likely to backfire.
My email buddy confessed that he does know the difference. I hope you do too.
Update: Okay, my email buddy hadn’t gone into inflammatory political rants since this post, but he did have an inflammatory rant against non-smokers. Here’s a fraction of his comment: “I have seen people afraid to walk past a few smokers standing outside by an entrance to a store, afraid they will drop dead just passing through the smoke.”
<Sigh>
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[...] to the “Stars Political Party” and the “Stripes Political Party” in a post here. I did it to keep the focus on communication and avoid a debate about who does what. Email [...]
Pingback by A PowerPhrase A Week » PowerPhrase: I want a widget that lists for five pesos — September 23, 2007 @ 8:15 pm
It is hard to assume what Mr. Stripes’s bulldozing technique is all abou. He could simply have very strong opinions and the desire to wield them about like a sword at a knife fight, or on the other end of the spectrum he could be suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, Narcissistic PEraonality Disorder, or any combination ofthose two or perhaps some other disorder.
It is hard to tell, but sine the title of this article is “Don’t hang up while I insult you” I’ll choose this from the angle that Mr. Stripes really does indeed wish to be heard and feels dejected when he isn’t.
I’d say to Mr. Stripes, “your thoughts are always welcomed, but so are other peoples’. We live in a country where dissent, disagreement, and discussion are all healthy parts of our democratic process. You will be graciously heard by me in direct proportion to how willing you are to graciously hear me”.
I’d see where that got me. If it got me an earful of insults, I’d probably letMr. Stripes enjoy his tirade, then let him know why he’d not be invited back on my Starry Show.
It’s hard to guess at the motives of others, so I try to focus on their actions.
Comment by kym — January 29, 2009 @ 7:21 am