October 1, 2007This week: Questions are the answer
I’ve been asking more questions lately. Before I respond to someone, I’ll ask myself if there’s a question I could ask that would help me understand what they are saying or asking. There usually is, and the information usually moves the conversation forward.
I’ve been asking better questions lately. I revised the questions I ask my groups in my intergenerational seminar in order to shape the dialog toward appreciation. I had lunch with a friend who facilitates “Appreciative Inquiry” and I asked all kinds of questions about how to ask questions.
I’m like a kid with a new toy with questions. I’m in Questions Kindergarten and have a lot to learn. I’ll be talking more about questions in the weeks to come – and asking more questions. Like – what tips do you have about questions that you can share? Do you have favorite questions that work for you?
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A great source to learn more about asking questions is the book: Making Questions Work by Dorohy Strachan. There is an art to asking good questions!What do you think of that?
Comment by Rose Singer — October 2, 2007 @ 12:16 pm
As psychiatrists say about patients and we in the Sandler Sales System say about clients “The problem presented is never the real problem. I takes three questions to begin to get to the real problem.”
Nik
Comment by Nik Nikkel — October 2, 2007 @ 1:07 pm
A best practice that i use as a manager is remember to ask 5 why fives times. to truly get to the root of the problem
Comment by pedro — October 2, 2007 @ 5:14 pm
I enjoy guiding training sessions from the floor, using questions. For example, if I see some of the participants do not understand the point being presented, I’ll may ask a question that causes the presenter to restate or explain more extensively. I get some funny looks sometimes but it is fun to see understanding come to those who weren’t quite there.
Comment by Malcolm — October 2, 2007 @ 5:28 pm
I am REALLY looking forward to reading more about this topic! Several years ago, I worked with a woman who was, IMHO, overly passive. It was often frustrating to try to figure out what she really thought about a given task. However, she was very good at asking questions when she disagreed. Often, her questions made me doubt my chosen path and rethink things — to our advantage.
More recently, I remarried a man who’s more headstrong than I am (if that’s possible). I do my best to avoid the power struggles that can come out of the smallest disagreement. One way that seems to work best is to ask questions. He’s on to that, but it still works far better than out and out confrontation. Thanks, Meryl, for starting this SpeakStrong dialog.
Comment by DianaR — October 3, 2007 @ 9:09 am
I’m in human resources and nothing is as it seems at first glance (or second and third,for that matter). I like to obtain more info by saying to a person, “That sounds like something I’d like to know more about. Tell me more.” It usually keeps the conversation going and I can learn more about may be of concern or is bothering someone. Sometimes it seems like all I do is ask questions, but sometimes just listening to the answers is all that is needed.
Comment by Denise — October 3, 2007 @ 12:07 pm
Rose, I went to my favorite book outlet (the library) to get a copy of the book you recommended, but they didn’t have it. I may have to bite the bullet and actually buy it!
Nik and Pedro, I like the best practice approach you suggest. It sets a new habit in motion to have a formula and a policy of applying it.
To all of you, clearly you’ve used questions successfully. I’d love to have concrete examples of how you’ve used them to provide as success stories. I think sometimes people think success stories have to be dramatic, life-changing experiences. They don’t.
There may be a Pippi giraffe in your futures.
Comment by merylrunion — October 4, 2007 @ 8:38 am
Apreciative Inquiry. Wonderful phrase. Please amplify!
Comment by Marsha — October 9, 2007 @ 12:49 pm
Knock it, the door will be opened!!! Keep on asking questions, some persons may respond, some may not. And understand why they are not answering. Leave it freely, but dont leave asking questions. Some of the lines from Meryl power phrase..
“The more they talk the more you can learn things that will help you negotiate/question a deal that works for you. Encourage others to show their hand by listening.”
‘Appreciate Inquiry’ is one of the good phrases.
Comment by sumathi — July 29, 2008 @ 7:07 am
Oh, I love it when people quote me! Thanks!
And, yes, the phrase Appreciative Inquiry certainly defines the process well. Great phrase to keep in mind! Thanks!
Comment by merylrunion — August 3, 2008 @ 3:23 pm