October 7, 2007PowerPhrase: What would you do if you didn’t feel intimidated/guilty/vengeful?

Filed under: The PowerPhrase of the Week by merylrunion |

I thought it was one of Nancy’s proudest moments. After repeated requests that her ex-husband take the utilities out of her name and after warning him that if he did not, she would cut the utilities off, Nancy made good on her promise. Her ex was furious. I was impressed.

Nancy would have been proud except for the fact that she did have some vengeance in her heart when she took the action. That’s understandable. After years of playing an underdog, she finally exercised some power. I get why she wasn’t proud of her vengeful emotion, but I saw no reason to regret her action. She may have felt vengeance but it did not dictate her action.

It reminds me of advice I offer anyone who is intimidated by anger or guilt-ridden by someone’s hurt or, yes, vengeful because they are taking an action that hurts someone who has harmed them. I suggest they ask:

  • What action would you take if you didn’t feel intimidated/guilty/vengeful?

If the action seems appropriate when your reactive emotion is removed from the equation, it probably is.

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