October 12, 2007Success Story: I will no longer tolerate this
For several years, we have had in our company a middle manager who is
loud, profane, and appears to not care about how her words are
perceived or affect others. This behavior has been consistent within
the ranks, but apparently the manager’s boss and other key executives
have not had occasion to witness it firsthand.
This has been a very tough situation to live with at times, and
nearly everyone else has commented/complained about her, including
me. The problem seemed to be that we weren’t commenting to the right
people, just to each other.
Recently, this manager had a blow-up confrontation about a personal
issue with a co-worker. She berated the person and called her a liar,
saying she “doesn’t deal with liars” and that she and the co-worker
were done. This happened in full view of everyone else in the
immediate work area, and the co-worker was humiliated even though the
blow-up was unjustified.
This incident spurred me to action. I wrote a letter to our HR
department, and then asked to meet with our HR manager.
I read this to her:
Everyone has the right - self-declared, constitutional, or God-given
- to express themselves in whatever way they choose, even if that’s
in a manner that’s hurtful, hateful, repulsive, and offensive to
others.
Everyone else has the right not to put up with such behavior.
I am hereby taking a stand for my own rights. Specifically, the one
that says I don’t have to feel or witness haranguing, browbeating,
high-decibel, profanity-laden tirades in the workplace.
If this manager is allowed to continue her current behaviors in my
presence I will not promise not to confront her in public.
I’m not aware of any performance issues on my work record, but if my
co-workers or I must continue to be subjected to this manager’s
behavior, I will no longer remain silent. I hate confrontation, and
have no wish to seek it out, particularly with someone who I feel
does not care, has no apparent fear of consequences, and will
probably not change just because it is asked.
I will no longer tolerate this manager’s unprofessional attitude and
conduct toward others in the workplace.
Bringing this up to someone in authority was hard for me. I had to be
ready and willing to take follow-up action if necessary. I really do
hate confrontation, but even more than that, I couldn’t stand the
demoralizing and toxic environment that one person has been allowed
to create.
I wanted to convey how unacceptable this was with strong words,
without actually attacking the person I’m upset with. The situation
has quieted somewhat, but I’m not sure if it’s because of my
discussion with HR or due to something else. I have a copy of my
letter handy, and still plan to see it through if it comes to that.
Enough is enough!
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I commend the excellent letter composed from someone who WILL stand up and take note, not only for themselves, but for others! I’ve been in HR/Paryoll for 6 years, I’ve been privy to people trying to explain issues they’ve had with personel, managers, and customers. One of my mantras is “say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t be mean when you say it”, also “timing is everything”, and last but certainly not least,
“document, document, document”.
Kudos to those that are on point!
Comment by Lsura Wilson — October 16, 2007 @ 2:00 pm