October 31, 2007Ask Meryl: embarrassing remarks
Meryl,
My coworker puts her husband down for small things like spilling a little coffee in front of all of us. It seems like she wants to embarrass him. How do I tell her I want her to stop it in a kind way?
Meryl responds,
Stay away from moralizing, advising or defending him. Tell her how you feel when she does it. Embarrassed? If so, say:
- When you make critical comments about your husband, I feel ___. I would prefer you don’t criticize him in front of me. Will you do that?
Then you need to follow up - which means reminding her and/or leaving whenever she does it.
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I would first examine how her errors affect me.
The next approach is to find out what she may be experiencing the prevents her from correcting the errors.
I may even spend a day with her to determine if the errors she is making is due to something she does not know her self.
Once I have exhausted being in her place and I see there is no need for the errors I would use FIRR
FACTS, IMPACT, RESPECT, RESPOND
Facts: I noticed the errors in # andI am certain we both are aware where these errors are coming from.
The IMPACT: These errors cause my (express the entire issue without your feelings )
Respect: I respect (If you found a handicap)if not
I am certain we both are striving to complete the work with error free.
Respond: If these errors keep surfacing I must start documenting the source and bring it to the managers attention.
BE FIRM and complete what you started….
Comment by Charlotte — November 20, 2007 @ 1:53 pm