October 31, 2007Poison Phrase: I get more calls on my day off
Kevin considers Wednesdays to be a paper day, and he calls it his day off on his answering machine. But he does pick up the phone and does return calls – making an indirect reference to his schedule when he does. He’ll say,
- I get more calls on my day off!
This is an indirect remark that hints at the inappropriateness of calling on Wednesday and suggests blame without overtly assigning it. If Kevin wants people to know about his day off, he would be better off telling them directly.
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I would question the integrity of “day off”. (also I wonder how many he has told that he is really in his office, or would rather just leave a message.)Better that he should say that he has an appointment and will return at a certain time, then do his paperwork and not answer the phone during the time span. If he is tempted to ocassionally take a call, at least he has an out -appointment cancelled, shortened.
Comment by Carol Haynes — November 6, 2007 @ 1:12 pm
Kevin should indicate on his voicemail that he is not available on Wednesday and that he will return calls when he returns to the office. By answering the phone, Kevin has let people know he is in the office and will be taking calls.
Another way to handle the calls that come in on Wednesday would be to let them go to voicemail and choose a couple times during the day to return the urgent ones and leave the rest for Thursday.
Comment by Marilyn Young — November 6, 2007 @ 2:08 pm
Yep – I agree – Kevin sent an indirect message by commenting on his call volume on off days, and a false message by calling it a day off. Either way he fails the SpeakStrong test. I will say I know Kevin and he has many redeeming qualities. (Like letting me post abut him.)(
Comment by merylrunion — November 12, 2007 @ 11:05 am
Sounds like Kevin has difficulty saying “No” to people, or setting boundaries. This is a common phenomena among people of a certain age – brought up to believe their own life should always be secondary to everyone else’s. No one who works at achieving a healthy balance between their work life and private life should ever have to apologize for doing what is right for them in the process of making a living, or in the process of living their life. There are a multitude of tools available to help us manage our communications. Caller ID. Answering machines. Electronic receptionist services. Email. We just have to give ourselves permission to use them. And we don’t have to lie to do it.
Comment by Kathleen — November 13, 2007 @ 12:23 pm
Kevin do you trust yourselfe. You made a commitment to yourself not to pick up the telephone or return calls. If the people you deal with know your unable to be honest to yourself they will probably know your easy to be controlled and when you leave messages your not in and answer the telephone the people will assume what you say is not to be respected or valued.
The first principle in all our relationships is to thine own self be true. “A matter of integrity.”
Comment by Charlotte — November 21, 2007 @ 12:26 pm