February 4, 2008Poison Phrase ~ If you don’t like how I do it, do it yourself
Life is constant negotiation and (presumably) a cooperative experience. Living and or working with someone means sharing responsibility, and how we discharge our responsibilities affects others. That’s why it’s important to be able to give and receive feedback when how someone does their job doesn’t work so well for us.
I find it a bit disheartening when I people tell me they tell others,
- If you don’t like how I do it, do it yourself.
Yes, sometimes people have unrealistically high standards and that might be the ultimate solution. But if that approach is applied to broadly, the person with the highest standards will be doing all the work.
This phrase is an example of what I call in Unite and Concur, Absolute Thinking and false dichotomy. The implication is there are two choices - I do it my way or you do it.
This cooperative venture called life works much better if we expand our options and seek mutual benefit rather than limit the consideration to two win-lose choices, or in this case, two I win you lose choices.
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Oh, now it makes sense. There is a typo in the newsletter: If you don’t like how YOU do it, do it yourself.
Comment by Suzan — February 6, 2008 @ 10:38 am