March 10, 2008Poison Phrase ~ This is better than your last one
George submitted a proposal to his boss that his boss liked very much. His boss let him know by saying,
- This is better than your last one.
The implication that the last one wasn’t at this level took away from the satisfaction of being acknowledged for the quality of this one.
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I agree… even if he had said something like, “This is your best work yet” might be better, as it wouldn’t single out his last proposal as being “weak” or not as good, while still giving adequate praise for this job well done.
Comment by Judy — March 11, 2008 @ 1:38 pm
if the boss really like the last one, this is a compliment. If he hated the last one, this is a backhanded sneer. If he was lukewarm to the last one, then is is still a compliment, but without much power. Context is needed.
Not all of us use “awesome” for mediocre, “incredible” for better than average, etc.
Nik
Comment by Nik NIkkel — March 11, 2008 @ 10:44 pm
I am an I.T. trainer and have taught many very good classes over the years at this company. Last week, however, at the end of another very good class, someone excitedly said: This was such a great class – I actually learned something this time! Ack!! My first panicked thought was – Oh my gosh, have they not learned anything in my previous classes?? I then started to rehash and think back through many of the previous classes trying to reassure myself that I had done a good job in those classes and that the users actually learned something. I later calmly told myself that this person was not knocking my previous classes but instead not speaking clearly or rather speaking spontaneously out of emotional excitement of having learning something brand new. I then took it as a nice compliment and let it go. If all my past classes had been bad, I would have heard about it from my supervisors or in my reviews and that never happened.
Comment by Susan — March 12, 2008 @ 8:46 am
This poison phrase reminded me something that made me laugh. After a haircut as a child/teen, my dad would always say “That looks better.” This could be interpreted as still not good, but better or I still hate it but not as much as before! Not so good for the self-esteem of young girls, so quite the poison phrase. When as a teen my sisters and I realized that some men have no sense of fashion or style (as was the case with our dad), it became a big joke and we would beat him to the punchline, saying “Does this look better?”
Comment by Susan B — March 12, 2008 @ 3:39 pm
Great points. Susan, what a great Poison Phrase! And it was clearly meant as a compliment!
Comment by merylrunion — March 17, 2008 @ 7:24 pm
The person who was excited at learning something could easily been refering to other classes s/he has taken from other instructors, too.
Comment by Sharon Campbell — March 18, 2008 @ 6:56 pm