March 17, 2008Ask Meryl ~ Lacking skills
Meryl,
I’m based in Pakistan and I run a computer and mineral water business.
I am writing to you about my shyness due to lack of proper words and sometimes I miscommunicate with my staff members resulting in topsy turvy of the job assigned. This causes anger and frustration and impedes the rhythm of the project. I have seen the preview of your books Power Phrases and I would like to order. What do you suggest how should I go about in order to change my bad habits into good ones due to passive-aggressive communication. This is also necessary due to the fact I am presenting some of the programs on TV whereby I fumbled on words that causes nervousness.
Meryl Responds
First, let me tell you I love the way you communicated your issue to me in your email. So, even though you may not be at the “elite” level of communication, you do have a good foundation to draw from. You’re not starting from nothing.
Second, I’m sure you are in charge because you have other skills in other areas. While I’ve been developing my communication skills (still working on it), some have been developing their detail skills etc. You’ve been developing business skills to get you where you are. While most of us would love to be brilliant in all areas and no one likes feeling stupid in any area, it’s normal for successful people to have weak areas, and it’s not something you have to apologize for.
I imagine you have some good communicators on your staff, so draw on their skills. Have a meeting and brainstorm how they can use their skills to cover for your limitations in the one area. Enlist their support as communication coaches. Perhaps you would benefit by having someone else present on TV, but at least have them help you plan your communication.
In particular, they can help you with project clarification.
In addition to PowerPhrases, I recommend Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors.
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As I read Meryl’s comprehensive reply, I thought of role playing.Meryl alluded to it with her suggestion of enlisting communication coaches.
Particularly when an interview or meeting is important, and the format or subject is known, it is vary powerful to prepare responses or statements in advance. Then there is time to review and change it, practice and perfect it until you are comfortable with what you are saying.
I have found this very valuable when I have done this and even though my emotions would have left me mumbling and bumbling, I can continue with my prepared presentation with the knowledge that it is the best I can do.
Comment by Malcolm — March 18, 2008 @ 4:14 pm