Comments on: Poison Phrase ~ Love is a battlefield

By: Kathleen

Kathleen — Fri, 16 May 2008 13:48:49 +0000

While John R’s comment is “well taken” and endearingly true, I have to agree with Meryl. “Love” is not a battlefield. A relationship that has become a battlefield is no longer about the relationship. It is about polarized self interests. A few years ago I was a member of a particular group and found myself in constant little flareups and standoffs with a particular member of the group. When things got better was when I realized that for myself, the goals of the group and how that served me personally, was much more important to me than coming out on top in a disagreement with the other member. Knowing that solidly, with no equivocation, helped me every time there was another flareup. Eventually, I think because I was no longer offering resistance or an opportunity in which the other member felt he had loss-of-face at stake, the flareups stopped. I would assume that the parties of any true marriage or successful relationship have a similar way of looking at themselves and their relationship.

By: John Reinheimer

John Reinheimer — Wed, 14 May 2008 20:41:41 +0000

Love is indeed a battlefield. When we look to Hollywood and their love stories, we see the idealized view of love and relationships. But those of us who have been married for some time, realize that the fire that raged when we fell in love has faded. That crazy over the top feeling we had however is not the truth about love. Love takes committment. It takes hard work, communication, and yes fighting for your wife. Women have it so hard these days. The magazine racks, the TV models, the air brushed photos all have women (including my wife) thinking they aren’t beautiful, thinking they aren’t worthy of being loved and adored. As men, we need to fight against these lies. Our wives need their men to step up and fight for them. That may mean not ogling the girls as they pass by. It may mean that they need to say something nice to their wife. It may mean they need to turn the channel, or look the other way. It may mean they need to kiss her goodbye in the morning and tell them you love them–just as they are.