June 26, 2008This Week in the World ~ Life is personal and the best communication is too.
Author Thom Hartmann speaks of an evening in his childhood when he and a friend admired a beautiful landscape. His friend said, “Isn’t it glorious? And it’s all alive.” Those words inspired awe in Thom.
How often do you forget that life is both alive and personal?
Life is more personal than we admit. Science sees the world “objectively” as impersonal “its” – consisting of objects to be studied. That’s about as impersonal as you can get. Business sees the world as prey to dominate and exploit. Both approaches forget the world is alive and personal.
We wouldn’t have phrases like “it’s not personal – it’s business” if we hadn’t impersonalized the world. These attitudes reflect the dominance of patriarchal principles. No, matriarchal dominance wouldn’t be better, but a balance would be nice.
The business world is discovering the personal nature of life, which is why it is embracing the term “associate” over “employee.” Of course, if you treat your “associate” like chattel, it doesn’t matter what word you use for the people you hire.
You may feel safer and find it more profitable to impersonalize life – and view people as consumers, casualties of war and prospects. When you experience life in a personal way, you can’t abuse people like you can if you don’t. But there are rewards to getting personal beyond just knowing you’re doing the right thing.
Small-talk expert Deb Fine says “All things being equal, we’d rather do business with our friends. All things NOT being equal, we’d rather do business with our friends.” It’s true. It’s true because life is alive and personal.
SpeakStrong and Unite and Concur exist to personalize communication for those who have shut their hearts down, and provide objectivity and effective communication strategies for the more sensitive among us, so they don’t abdicate to the ruthless. That’s why I advise including what you think, feel AND want. (See today’s “Ask Meryl.”)
(Please read my latest post on Unite and Concur about resetting the tone of a political conversation. Talking with your political opposite.)
My article The Secret Power of Tears provides a concrete way to reclaim the personal nature of life. Please scroll down to my reader comment about that article. I love the contributor’s words.
I have a new article about how experts need to get personal when they instruct. It’s called: Let’s get personal: Credible communication is collaborative, even when you’re the expert
If you’re looking for a book to get your emotions moving, I recommend Life Lessons. I have a story in it.
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No argument from me that we need to bring more of something that might be called “the personal” into all the areas of our life. Applying a “Golden Rule” outlook to almost all, if not all, of life’s scenarios would do that I think. My concern about this article is a quick stereotyping of science and business. My exposure to the world of science shows me that it is peopled by, if not fueled by, a reverence for the universe and a desire to be more integrally connected with it, through scientific study. And recent events in my family have brought me in contact with the business world, where I was happy to see that if the participants did not allow for the personal, they would not be able to do their jobs effectively. And where the rewards they got from their particular businesses was based on how effectively they became personal - and they all knew it. I know what you were going for, but I think the “problem” we are talking about is really about power and those who seek to gain or maintain power, not about science or business. But I may have come full circle to your point, because I do see it as being up to ALL of us to demand that humanity be the measurement, rather than maintenance of power for a few; and demanding room for the personal in all our dealings may be one way to do that. People existed before business and continue to exist when business does not. Therefore, it seems logical to assume that business is to serve people, not the other way around. “Business for People”. Not People for Business.
Comment by Kathleen — July 4, 2008 @ 2:34 pm