August 26, 2008Ask Meryl ~ Not my native tongue…keys to changing habits
Meryl,
English is not my native tongue, but I started going to Toastmasters – this has built my confidence in speaking. I have so much information to convey during my talk but somehow I always fell on the same mistake in grammar and usage. Sometimes, when I’m in a middle of my sentence, I just can’t end it the way I want it – I jabbered which frustrated me deeper and most of the time I just left my sentence hanging and assumed that they understood what I meant.
I’m frustrated but I’m willing to work at it, where do I start?
Meryl Responds:
Your key is repetition, repetition, repetition. Toastmaster’s is a great vehicle for you. A ten minute speech is short enough to practice 100 times. I suggest you rehearse while you walk/hike. That gets it imprinted into your body.
I’ve taught the same seminar and presented the same keynote hundreds of times – and that has allowed me to “perfect” better habits. It got so I could tell if I was off a micro second on a pause – I wouldn’t get the same reaction from the audience. You may not be able to practice the same speech over on your Toastmaster’s groups, but you can practice plenty before and also after, correcting and perfecting what doesn’t go as well.
Another thing I’ve done to improve my speaking is imitation. I have actually copied speakers I admire down to the gestures, intonation and exact language. I personalize my work before I present to others – so much that even the person I copy wouldn’t know I started as a clone of them. But that has really helped me adopt positive new communication habits.
This isn’t from experience, but if I was mastering a foreign language, I would watch a movie I like in my native tongue and then play it continuously in the language I was perfecting. Each time you listen; notice what makes their words effective. On the 100th time, you’ll become aware of subtleties that you would have missed in a few viewings.
Since one of your issues is completion, picture a target and your words as arrows. I used to back off before the end of my sentences – more in terms of lowering my voice. The imagery has helped me.
That’s where I suggest you start. And as frustrating as the process is, if you’re willing to make small changes at a time, you will be amazed at how far you progress.
Note: I don’t always get acknowledgment of my suggestions, but when I do, it inspires me. I list this response as a success story because I feel quite certain this reader will walk the talk and make the changes. I also think this reader is more articulate than he knows.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate your precious time used in replying to my email.
It was very graphic, clear and objective, I think I can even post it in my bathroom mirror to remind me every morning to really work at it.
I can’t imagine cloning Jim Rohn in my speeches, it gives me goose-bumps. But I think that’s the start.
As I write this reply, I can’t help but smile – I know it will literally light up my days. Thanks again.
May God grant you more and more wisdom, grace and protection for always.
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