September 1, 2008Ask Meryl ~ Impossible assignments
Meryl,
I despair of ever getting it from the theoretical to the practical It all seems so logical and easy to read about, but in the actual situation, the emotions are still driving.
I had a very bad week at work. On Tuesday my manager told me that I had to have a report written by Friday. I said that I didn’t think I could do it as it was such a big report (expecting ~ 30 pages). She said that she wanted it by Friday & that was it. So of course today is Friday & I wasn’t finished (it is difficult to stop the rest of the world – phone calls, rep visits, meetings, etc to concentrate solely on report writing). She was quite severe with me for not having it done & I regret I got upset & defensive & heated and started listing reasons why it was not complete & that it was simply too big a job to do in 3 days etc, and ended up in an argument. It was a very unpleasant encounter, and now all I want to do is find another job and get away.
I realize I have a responsibility for the failure – maybe I didn’t manage my time very well; maybe I could have turned away phone calls & reps; maybe I was unconsciously using them as excuses to put off a daunting task. I definitely find it very difficult to handle being criticized; I know that’s my problem. I really think I should look for another job because this is just not the right sort of job for me but it’s hard to know what job would be right for me.
So to the point, I was in the wrong, and now I have to apologies & try to cope with being in an unpleasant situation until I can find another job. How am I going to face her? I looked for some relevant material on the website but mostly found from the manager’s perspective with a difficult employee; I guess this is the situation with me the difficult employee but I was hoping for some help for my side
Meryl Responds:
I know the frustration of not living up to your own expectations. That reminds me of the saying that what matters is not how often you fall but how quickly you pick yourself back up when you do.
When the boss assigns an unreasonable deadline, let her know what will suffer for you to meet the deadline. For example, you can say,
- Between now and Friday I expect to have X hours of discretionary time. This report will require Y hours to complete properly. If I miss the rep meetings and let the phone go to voicemail I can squeeze another Z hours out to complete it. It won’t be the quality I’d like it to be, but it will be the best I can do. Do you want me to do that?
Another way to question an unreasonable deadline is to say,
- I can do a great job for you by Monday; or a rough job by Friday. What do you prefer?
Whenever you don’t communicate well, think of it as another chance to learn. Think of what you could have / would have said – not to chastise yourself; but to learn.
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This boss sounds totally unreasonable. However, your comment that “it is difficult to stop the rest of the world – phone calls, rep visits, meetings, etc to concentrate solely on report writing” is probably the clue to resolving the issue. Perhaps you should ask your boss for assistance with the “rest of the world” while you concentrate on report writing. The boss might then be willing to either give you an assistant,or change the deadline.
Comment by Phoebe — October 2, 2008 @ 8:46 am
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