September 30, 2008PowerPhrase ~ last time I checked
I spoke to the Emergency Nurses Association last week, where I emphasized the need to plan phrases for common situations. I spoke about Code White, which is an agreement among nurses that when physicians are verbally abusive within earshot, they gather around and just watch. The attention makes the abuser conscious and it quiets them.
I mentioned the comment, “You’re so smart, why didn’t you become a doctor?” and an audience member suggested the reply,
- You just answered your own question.
I shared my husband’s standard response to the question, “Are you a male nurse?” which is:
- Last time I checked.
Whatever your line of work, chances are you face the same communication challenges on a regular basis. Why not take some time and prepare phrases to use?
I will be writing an article about PowerPhrases for Nurses. If you’re in healthcare and have favorite phrases, let me know.
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My daughter is adopted from China. When we were coming home with her 5 years ago (and she was just a year old), a woman on the shuttle bus asked me, “How do *they* breathe through those noses!” I was so shocked at that question/statement that I didn’t respond.
Other questions people have asked me include “How much did she cost?” and “Is she *yours*?” My prepared responses include “She is priceless” and a simple “Of course” when asked if she’s mine.
The one that still gets my goat, though, is when people say they want to have their “own” child versus adopting. I have chosen to believe that they are not being purposely mean; they just don’t understand the joy of having a child (whether biological or adopted). I have determined that it is my personal mission in life to educate these people.
So here is my planned response to that statement: “Trust me… whether born from your tummy or born in your heart, when you have a child you love and who loves you back, they ARE your *own*.”
Comment by Judy — October 1, 2008 @ 12:08 pm
I have two daughters working in the medical field and for what I heard it is very sad when nurses don’t take care of patients as they should, also the verbal abuse from Physician sometimes get to them, they come home heartbroken, if you please let me know how to talk to them or at lest try to.
Comment by Irma Prado — October 1, 2008 @ 12:51 pm
Irma, what one nurse told me was “the shower is a great place to cry.” In other words, yes, it hurts and can get you down. And if it’s not an option to address a situation, I always recommend discharging the emotion when she can. Otherwise she runs a risk of becoming too jaded to enjoy her life’s work.
Comment by merylrunion — October 1, 2008 @ 1:40 pm
Judy, thanks for sharing those poison phrases!
Your last one about a child of your own reminds me of what we’re hearing a lot these days - about “ordinary Americans.”
Comment by merylrunion — October 1, 2008 @ 1:42 pm
Dear Meryl,
Selecting a power phrase is a challenging situation because communication between human creatures is a complicated issue.
And our reply to some comments depends on many factors, for example to what extent the comment is embaraassing or insulting, what are our emotions towards the comment and the person, those are totaly different.
What kind of emotions do we have at the moment and what emotions did the comment trigered.
Since it is multifactorial I gueess many factors to be condsidered before we decide on the best reply.
Have a great day
Nader Al Adawi,
Training Manager,
Janssen-Cilag Pharma
Saudi Arabia, Egypt and Gulf Countries.
Comment by Nader Al Adawi — October 1, 2008 @ 3:48 pm
I do not work in healthcare, but having been a patient enough times, I realize that I appreciate the kind honesty type of speaking that many healthcare professionals use today.
When I was a child, I was too often told, “Now, this won’t hurt a bit.” Total lie, in my book. The shots really did hurt!
My childhood dentist was very careful to explain what he was going to do and what it would feel like. He would explain that he was going to give a shot of novocain and it would feel like a pinch. Then, in just a couple of minutes, we wouldn’t feel much and he could do the dental work I needed. His honesty encouraged me that I could get through whatever he needed to do.
Today’s medical professionals are usually more like this, explaining what we might expect during a procedure, or how to keep those stitches clean. Let’s encourage them to continue in this way–I believe that is Power Phrase speech at work.
Comment by Iris — October 2, 2008 @ 7:54 am
Great comments! Thanks! We learn to distrust when authorities paint unrealistic rosy pictures. It makes sense to regain trust by telling the truth - even if the truth is this will hurt.
One of my favorite truth tellers is Deepak Chopra. he was my husband’s personal physician 20 years ago when my hubby had cancer. All I heard was denial. He said to me - “You are aware that your husband has a terminal disease, aren’t you?” Suddenly I was able to deal with reality. I was grateful for the honesty.
Comment by merylrunion — October 7, 2008 @ 11:52 am
[...] Chopra cut through my denial over 20 years ago when my late husband had cancer. | Email This Post [...]
Pingback by A PowerPhrase a Week » PowerPhrase ~ I have a bonus PowerPhrase from Deepak Chopra in the blog post “Last Time I Checked.” — October 7, 2008 @ 12:06 pm