November 5, 2008Ask Meryl ~ When the boss side-talks

Meryl,

I attended a seminar of yours several years ago, and I still look forward to the news letter every week to learn new tips. I have a question on how to handle a work situation.

My manager has recently asked me to take more leadership of our team. One of the responsibilities is to run our weekly staff meeting. My manager is very social, and he will often start a side conversation with other members of the team, keeping them from hearing what we are currently discussing. My reaction has been to just stop talking and interrupt them to say, “Excuse me, I did not catch that? Did you have a question?” He will then look sheepish, and say, “Oh, sorry” but will do this again a few minutes later.

The last time this happened, I asked the person that he was talking to after the meeting alone what it was about, and they were chatting about the weekend. I told my manager that I view this as a lack of respect for me. If he is giving me the responsibility to run these meetings, then I need his support during the meetings. Is there another way that I can say this that can help him understand that while he may think it is okay to distract (because he is the manager), it is not the time nor the place. Also, is there a better way to interrupt the side chatter when it happens?

Thank you,

Meryl says,

I think you’re handling it fine and the fact that he doesn’t react to your reminders is a good sign that he will be willing to work with you if you take it up a notch by being more direct.

Address it privately. Say,

As the manager, people take their cues from you. I think you’re not aware of how disruptive your side talk is. Will you help me keep the focus by not having side conversations?

If you think it’s needed, you can also ask